tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22989187643076260572024-03-17T22:03:00.959-05:00 Life's a Polyp Life's a Polyp is a personal look at life with the rare diseases Familial Adenomatous Polyposis and Short Bowel Syndrome with a focus on raising awareness, FAP research funds, and patient empowerment.
FAP is a hereditary rare disease guaranteed to cause colon cancer if proper treatment is not received in a timely manner and impacts the entire body in a variety of ways. Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.comBlogger226125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-8700642284577150792023-12-07T19:38:00.009-06:002024-01-21T17:44:33.426-06:00How We Can Use Hardship to Build Our Resiliency<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYHX01RFmHHR5o-iRMloz-1mONe49U_ot2_IzDRaEhdR0e7bcH1XTVlynXPkaNXl3YHKA86VfH1bDH2GTRqxcQnj-80DYVa6SyjRtTNOPZwcsOXUETSMs0xe7U3RdXOJm16fFhdHkr2ozPNyERPtfkGuMzWk6RpLzSu-NQHcE_CGpmaTO020yOa_ZeXrE/s1280/hardship.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="silhoutte of a person sitting at the end of a long plank or walk way looking out towards a beautiful sunset" border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYHX01RFmHHR5o-iRMloz-1mONe49U_ot2_IzDRaEhdR0e7bcH1XTVlynXPkaNXl3YHKA86VfH1bDH2GTRqxcQnj-80DYVa6SyjRtTNOPZwcsOXUETSMs0xe7U3RdXOJm16fFhdHkr2ozPNyERPtfkGuMzWk6RpLzSu-NQHcE_CGpmaTO020yOa_ZeXrE/w320-h213/hardship.jpg" title="How We Can Use Hardship to Build Our Resiliency" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW164478635 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; user-select: text;"><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" paraeid="{2fd7b158-5608-4f1e-8315-1bece8f4ac37}{179}" paraid="2112558122" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;"><span><span class="TextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; line-height: 19.425px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Most of us are aware of the popular saying that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text; white-space-collapse: preserve;">”,</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> which was shortened from the original saying penned by philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Nietzsche, who is a fascinating philosopher to study, argued that while life’s suffering </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text; white-space-collapse: preserve;">provides</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span> an opportunity for growth and building strength, the ability to build strength from suffering comes from existing strength within someone. This is a view that has been told and retold throughout written history before and after Nietzsche.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{89}" paraid="524571388" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; line-height: 19.425px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">This all aligns perfectly with a renewed outlook on the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">”.</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Perhaps you</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> have seen this new perspective tweeted by </span></span><a class="Hyperlink SCXW173400248 BCX8" href="https://x.com/rkkaaay/status/1449462065995960323?s=20" rel="noreferrer noopener" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; user-select: text;" target="_blank"><span class="TextRun Underlined SCXW173400248 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; line-height: 19.425px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: underline; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" data-ccp-charstyle="Hyperlink" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">@rkkaay</span></span></a><span class="TextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; line-height: 19.425px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"> that has been shared around the internet: </span><span class="EOP SCXW173400248 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 19.425px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{166}" paraid="1235396919" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px 48px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; line-height: 19.425px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">“Your trauma made you stronger. No, my trauma made me </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">traumatized</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">, it made me weak, gave me sleepless nights and memory loss, it gave me feelings </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">I’ve</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> never wanted. I made myself stronger, by dragging myself out of a dark place and dealing with consequences that </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">weren’t</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> my fault</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">”.</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span><span class="EOP SCXW173400248 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":720,"335559731":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":0,"335559739":160,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 19.425px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW173400248 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">I<span style="font-family: inherit;"> absolutely</span> love both perspectives of how hardship and trauma provide an opportunity for building strength. It is ultimately, within us where the true strength lies and is activated by trauma. The trauma is merely a trigger signaling to us to build from the trauma experience. By viewing life's hardships in this manner, the power is restored to the individual. It is not the trauma that holds power over us, it is we who holds power over the trauma. This is an incredibly vital understanding for processing trauma, particularly if the trauma has led to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">As a rare disease patient whose medical experiences led to the development of medical PTSD, I realize firsthand how powerless and helpless PTSD can leave one feeling, especially when combined with depression. It can become completely crippling to one's efforts to participate in normal daily functioning. </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Not only can recognizing that the ability to grow and build from trauma lies within oneself instead of externally be life-changing by itself but also identifying and acknowledging where the growth shows itself in one's life as well. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; white-space-collapse: preserve;">When we build from our inner strength through hardships, there are common perspectives or understandings that many of us adopt or learn. These new understandings are quite powerful in themselves as well.</span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Empathy Not Sympathy</span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">It can be difficult at times to empathize with others and their experiences when we don't have any experiences to help us relate to another's. Many confuse empathy with sympathy; however, they are drastically different. Sympathy is a feeling of pity for another and their experience, it stems from a desire for </span><i style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">us</i><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"> to not have the same bothersome experience of someone else's with a motive to not feel the discomfort that thinking of another's experience triggers within us. Whereas empathy is compassion for another's hardship with relation and understanding of their experience without any underlying motive about our own feelings but rather a focus on <i>their </i>feelings. When we experience a trauma, it broadens the realm of life experiences we encounter and by doing so, it allows us to build our empathy for others and their hardships. While one hardship may not be exactly the same to another person's hardship, our ability to relate progresses and based off our experiences we can find compassion for that of another's even when they are on the surface very different. When we relate to one another on a deeper level, we can provide and receive support from one another - strengthening our social connections. And strong social support in turn increases our resiliency to hardship. </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Community Building</span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">This is why community is so important for one's well-being. Often times, especially for men, the notion of being completely independent to the point of not allowing any help or support from another person whether it's physical, emotional, mental, or financial becomes romanticized and striven for by many. However, in reality, such extreme independence can negatively affect one's mental health as it leaves one vulnerable to feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness when support is required. When these conflicting beliefs and feelings are not resolved, the dissonance can lead to new hardships created by a maladaptive attempt to stop the contention resulting in chemical dependency or substance abuse, for example. We see this struggle between what one believes they should be as a hyper independent person and the reality of requiring some type of support most often among men and individuals in careers that emit or require a presentation of unusual strength physically and mentally, for example military and law enforcement. These are also fields that provide unique experiences that the general population is not subjected to in most cases. For these reasons, community building of those with similar experiences becomes even more crucial and when psychological conditions and maladaptive behaviors occur that require a higher level of intervention and such communities can be very helpful. </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">I've experienced the need for such a specific type of community in my own medical experiences as a child and teenager with an ostomy and as a rare disease patient. Attending <a href="https://youthrally.org/" target="_blank">The Youth Rally</a> and <a href="https://www.ostomy.org/" target="_blank">UOAA </a>conferences were life changing in their own rights for me as an ostomate - I was able to meet and develop lifelong friendships with others of my own age who also had ostomies. And through the online rare disease community, I finally found the connections I so desperately needed as a child who didn't know anyone else outside of my family with <i>my </i>rare diseases.</span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">I learned over the last two years in my metaphysical classes that receptivity to the support of another is not just about us receiving from one another, but it is also about the other person who is wanting to give. By receiving their support, we are giving them that opportunity to give, to grow themselves, to increase our social bonds to one another. As a giver, it can be difficult to receive from others and I try to remember this now when someone is wanting to give to me.</span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Self-Care</span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">As I finally learned self-care in 2022 and after many trial and error attempts, I've learned how to also maintain self-care now, I have a new appreciation and understanding of self-care. Self-care is difficult to learn or achieve when we are in a survival mode but eventually, our minds and bodies will force us to learn self-care if we want to improve our mental and physical health. This is another difficult task for a giver which can be bred through hardship as well. My own medical trauma led me to want to give to others to help them through theirs and so I often gave more of myself than I had to give and once I stopped living in survival mode, my mind and body let me know it was time to learn self-care. Part of self-care is managing our energy and health needs to protect ourselves from burning out or causing more harm to ourselves. Like any habit we want to create, we can start small and build upon that starting point. We won't learn self-care in one fell swoop, it's a learning process just like the rest of life. </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Building Appreciation</span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">A common negative thought pattern that we all practice at times is discounting the positive and focusing on the negative. We do this also when we practice all or nothing thinking, black and white thinking. Both of these cognitive distortions make it difficult to appreciate the good, the positive in experiences and in life in general. An attribute of resiliency is the ability to practice appreciation and gratitude. Some days this may be harder than others but at the end of the day, being able to step back and find something to be grateful for even on the hardest of days can make the difference in reducing the hold of depression. This is not to say that positive thinking or gratitude are a cure all for depression, but they are healthy coping mechanisms that can be employed during hardships to help us decrease the mental toll of a difficult time. When experiencing a chronic hardship, such as with chronic illness, a person has two paths they can choose to take - either it can become so difficult to appreciate the good moments because one is so bogged down by the fear of the next let down <i>OR </i>the good moments can be savored and reflected upon with fondness and deep appreciation. Personally, I find great joy in relishing the good moments, savoring them and appreciating them in all their glory. When we have chronic pain and we do an activity without resulting in a pain flare, that's something to appreciate. When our doctor's appointment or test results are good or better than we anticipated, that's something to appreciate. When we remembered all of our medications without missing any of them, that's something to appreciate. The beauty of appreciation is that appreciation doesn't have to be for something huge - it can be for literally anything. And when we find moments of gratitude, we are building up our inner strength. </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Gaining New Perspectives</span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">As we develop each of the previously discussed skills and healthy coping mechanisms, we can begin to gain a new perspective, a wider perspective. When we feel pinned down by a difficult time, our view of the situation at hand can quickly become hyper focused and narrowed creating tunnel vision. Negative thought patterns will arise during tunnel vision as well and depending on the narrowed view we are taking, we may become overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness, stress, defeat, fear, anxiety, etc. When we notice such moments, it is important to engage in behaviors to help widen our view once again and looking at the situation from a different viewpoint. In the midst of a crisis, or what even feels like a crisis, this can be challenging. </span><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Taking a moment to pause, to avoid rumination, regroup with the larger picture in mind and consulting with others are all small steps that can drastically change one's view on a difficult situation. For example, when my last surgeon said that there wasn't anything else for him to do about my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/11/the-continued-mystery-of-my-post.html" target="_blank">chronic, debilitating pain</a> that developed 2.5 weeks after my gallbladder removal, I was overcome with a brief period of depression and utter devastation. After I cried my heart out for hours and probably took a nap from exhaustion, I awoke with a new perspective on my pain and was able to devise a new plan of action for finding out what was causing my pain and for any possible effective treatments. It was with this wider view of the big picture that I was able to draw upon my inner strength to carry me through the next 6.5 months that it would take to obtain a diagnosis and effective treatment plan. </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">I struggle with </span>catastrophizing<span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"> potential future events, fixating on the worst-case scenario I can possibly imagine. This is a cognitive distortion that I continue to work on in my EMDR therapy and stems from my medical PTSD. I am becoming better equipped to identify when I am catastrophizing potential future events and exploring a new perspective of moderation, reducing my all or nothing thinking in regard to my fears. The more that I am able to practice this, the more I am gaining a new perspective on life, my future, and how I can cope in healthier ways.</span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW173400248 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fa4f10ac-5d29-4af3-a2c0-42f93edae447}{242}" paraid="1896330475" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US">Ultimately, we get to choose how we are going to respond to hardships in life. Responding and reacting are two different things. Reaction is that knee jerk reaction without any thought involved, however, responding is when we take the time to decide how we want to respond instead of automatically going with our initial gut reflex. Learning how to respond is part of healing and building upon the strength within ourselves that can be shown to us through difficult times. For even appreciation can be given to a hardship for the opportunity it provides to grow, for revealing what may not have been visible to us previously. Until that time, when facing a difficult moment and awaiting to come out on the other side of it, we can engage in daily practices to keep us above water while we are navigating those periods. </p></div></div>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-19825877499996943092023-11-30T19:49:00.003-06:002024-01-21T17:24:14.742-06:00Comfytemp Weighted Heated Vest: AD - A Sponsored Review<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFu86o5t1Bvj4cfp-x5NV3VwXzLNx0Fg7Nfli3vWULRdTmOXL7X_f8LDrgjK4_OS6oh_4CtJls2XDPdKNUrnM6QEKWiSP7AfNy5gNLpl34ACVpihmLuQsU9Zp1xlKvuR-cZWqf9UMbj5oxMaExrnzkRrKOoRe3PBS44IgMCwTUK5ARSE6fSUPLDTW3XSA/s947/Comfytemp.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="566" data-original-width="947" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFu86o5t1Bvj4cfp-x5NV3VwXzLNx0Fg7Nfli3vWULRdTmOXL7X_f8LDrgjK4_OS6oh_4CtJls2XDPdKNUrnM6QEKWiSP7AfNy5gNLpl34ACVpihmLuQsU9Zp1xlKvuR-cZWqf9UMbj5oxMaExrnzkRrKOoRe3PBS44IgMCwTUK5ARSE6fSUPLDTW3XSA/s320/Comfytemp.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><em style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">Disclaimer: I have been given <a href="https://amzn.to/3R0Pn0I" rel="nofollow" style="color: #da6042; text-decoration-line: none; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Comfytemp Heating Pad for Neck and Shoulder Pain Relief</a> as part of a product review</em><em style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">. Although the product was a gift, all opinions in this review remain my own and I was in no way influenced by the company.</em></p><p></p><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;">Chronic pain is, unfortunately, not uncommon amongst those of us with chronic illness and with <a href="http://lifesapolyp.blogspot.com/2012/05/fap-beginning.html" target="_blank">Familial Adenomatous Polyposis</a>, we often have abdominal pain at the very least. However, part of my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/04/my-new-diagnosis-abdominal-migraine.html" target="_blank">Abdominal Migraine</a> is torso pain that extends to the top of my shoulders as well as <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2014/10/wish-list.html" target="_blank">neck pain</a> due to degeneration in my cervical spine. It was with these thoughts that I looked forward to testing the </div><div style="text-align: left;"><em style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://amzn.to/3R0Pn0I" rel="nofollow" style="color: #da6042; text-decoration-line: none; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Comfytemp Heating Pad for Neck and Shoulder Pain Relief</a>.</em></div><div style="text-align: left;"><em style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><br /></em></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">This specific weighted heating pad by <a href="https://amzn.to/3R0Pn0I" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Comfytemp </a>fits like a cropped jacket, zips in the front, and has adjustable straps for the sides and arms so that the vest is adjustable to fit sizes Small, Medium, and Large with the arms adjusting up to 16 inches and the chest adjusting up to 47 inches. There is heating in the neck, shoulders, arms, and full back and t</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">he heating pads of the vest in the shoulders and upper back are filled with micro-glass beads. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">This vest is electric; the electrical cord with control is detachable from the vest to allow for machine washing, although I did not test wash the vest.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjwgKb4y_SDQRAxP0Hxcm7Y9Et5kVzMiLGMffrbRb7aGoZc7Qh1Wxg0sPrli60KIgArPzgkLDkRbfZ03D1uZPqsNiOIT5tgwbZcgyDAt7eLZgiueU50pauw1ZQwyQPPKZsLzGpdnT7_YxRk-Oa6Hs8EK4Ms_IBd91VUc9qi59Keyn3Vl-yUhUFvnDjC4RY" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="1000" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjwgKb4y_SDQRAxP0Hxcm7Y9Et5kVzMiLGMffrbRb7aGoZc7Qh1Wxg0sPrli60KIgArPzgkLDkRbfZ03D1uZPqsNiOIT5tgwbZcgyDAt7eLZgiueU50pauw1ZQwyQPPKZsLzGpdnT7_YxRk-Oa6Hs8EK4Ms_IBd91VUc9qi59Keyn3Vl-yUhUFvnDjC4RY" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have never used a weighted blanket before and although weighted blankets have been shown to aid with <a href="https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/health-and-wellness/2022/march/weighted-blankets" target="_blank">anxiety reduction and other benefits,</a> I have panic attacks when I feel confined by fabrics and when something is too near or too tight around my neck. For this reason, I don't believe I would like a weighted blanket as I have become anxious even when only using a heavy comforter. The first time I tried on this specific <em style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://amzn.to/3R0Pn0I" rel="nofollow" style="color: #da6042; text-decoration-line: none; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Comfytemp Heating Pad</a>, </em><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">straight out of its packaging,</span><em style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"> </em><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">I experienced a panic attack upon fully zipping the vest as the collar was touching my neck too much for my comfort level. However, when I straightened out the vest while I regained my composure, I have been able tolerate the vest without experiencing anxiety since, even when napping with the vest on. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgb0QClgR7mnRlNX3VSE-GIQ7qquTlCcXpRXPix7uq-BJCD_ToNglQhY10Kyl7_ceNda-Y07xpqCt8tJZ0jyzcTdpoRBmCIgk0HvTByYtfZh5cBzQdSP9U4JFGX4hVm7VmUn0jSVmtAFQy9nMSBLI2hzPwxr1htkmOM4Sk2yum6MqvOFB-wokvPcDg8Gj4" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="688" data-original-width="487" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgb0QClgR7mnRlNX3VSE-GIQ7qquTlCcXpRXPix7uq-BJCD_ToNglQhY10Kyl7_ceNda-Y07xpqCt8tJZ0jyzcTdpoRBmCIgk0HvTByYtfZh5cBzQdSP9U4JFGX4hVm7VmUn0jSVmtAFQy9nMSBLI2hzPwxr1htkmOM4Sk2yum6MqvOFB-wokvPcDg8Gj4" width="170" /></a></div><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">Due to the attached electrical cord during use, it would not necessarily be easy to sleep for long periods while wearing the vest as the cord is attached to the left side of the vest. This would not necessarily be an issue for someone who does not move </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;">a lot</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"> in their sleep and is sleeping on the correct side to prevent from laying on the electrical cord. Lying on the cord does not impede the vest from functioning properly, however, I do not like to lie on cords when sleeping, I move a lot in my sleep, and I often require using the restroom during the night, sometimes urgently. When I wore the vest while napping, it was after a full day of work and my left shoulder blade was particularly hurting. I looked forward to wearing the vest in attempt to reduce my shoulder and back pain. While lying on my left side with the vest on, I adjusted the side straps to keep the vest's heated pads that are filled with micro-glass beads as close to my back as desired. I was able to fall asleep and when I awoke from my nap, my back and shoulder felt immensely better from the heat. I have worn the vest in this manner on more than one occasion for pain in the same shoulder/upper back area with similar results each time.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh-f3T91JobMTOy9lpV8ftQ4b_x8VCu2Qn9sbtkSVGRsUIurZob4P2OoAGNkDWJ-eYJX2JpD9tBpZLaox-YpgvEuYu45gPuIJp64p7Tpfe-Te49s1oEHrtyT2D8xlEWG9cn__AAmPpcEefhdQD9kC-WD7hdWWUa0VAZCzYBcfvCR6Rd3AJKLBpX-H1owG0" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="825" data-original-width="559" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh-f3T91JobMTOy9lpV8ftQ4b_x8VCu2Qn9sbtkSVGRsUIurZob4P2OoAGNkDWJ-eYJX2JpD9tBpZLaox-YpgvEuYu45gPuIJp64p7Tpfe-Te49s1oEHrtyT2D8xlEWG9cn__AAmPpcEefhdQD9kC-WD7hdWWUa0VAZCzYBcfvCR6Rd3AJKLBpX-H1owG0" width="163" /></a></div><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;">The vest has 9 levels for heat with a timer option that ranges from 30 minutes to 9 hours for automatically shutting off the heat. I tested all 9 heating levels and found that the vest heated rather quickly but was not a searing heat that would be considered painful even on bare skin.</span><span style="color: red; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;">When reducing the heat level, it took a few minutes for my body to register the difference in temperature,</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"> but I was able to notice a difference as I increased and decreased the temperature through all 9 levels. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;">What I don't like about the vest is the arm straps. I understand the reason for them to allow for a wide range of arm sizes to fit the vest arms and to secure them, but I found them cumbersome and awkward for putting on and off the vest - something my other family members who tested the vest also voiced. The Velcro straps felt uncomfortable if they weren't aligned properly to prevent touching the skin, I couldn't simply remove the vest as I had to unstrap the Velcro straps from one another and at times, I had difficulty putting on the vest because the Velcro straps were attached to different parts of the vest and kept reattaching before I could put the vest fully on. Instead, </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;">I would prefer a thin, soft, loose fabric on the underside of the arms of the vest to fit more naturally like an article of clothing.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjcpJFacn6CwRgQ88QXm9vtiNkGGKkrhmuXmmfiuNvbhOL1qg_fYsuUoA5HjDBsuUNs25acAmvaDUpnMhCw5HNZWBrGzbW2f2rc5c_Xs-CJT82V_v8uJn57eVmyvcBCBpS6nLb3Orsi1svO2uSegJy8fiPaQuvlisdsgnr6gRIL5tFhZdN03uuXgOi0UyI" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="937" data-original-width="749" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjcpJFacn6CwRgQ88QXm9vtiNkGGKkrhmuXmmfiuNvbhOL1qg_fYsuUoA5HjDBsuUNs25acAmvaDUpnMhCw5HNZWBrGzbW2f2rc5c_Xs-CJT82V_v8uJn57eVmyvcBCBpS6nLb3Orsi1svO2uSegJy8fiPaQuvlisdsgnr6gRIL5tFhZdN03uuXgOi0UyI=w256-h320" width="256" /></a></div><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;">My parents tested this vest as well. My mother often times is cold and thoroughly enjoyed wearing the vest. So much so, I believe my father is purchasing one for her. My parents both found it to be "fairly comfortable" and felt the warmth of the vest around their neck, upper chest and shoulders particularly. They found it a "bit confusing to put on initially" and reported "big gaps on the side when adjusted". My mother has chronic pain but was not experiencing any pain while testing the vest for a weekend. However, she stated she thought the vest would be helpful in reducing her pain had she been experiencing any pain in those areas of the body during her trial test. My father particularly thought the vest would be nice to wear if working a desk job or while lounging.<br /></span></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjew0Er9kTuZJRrzhlqwyNGc2bxaRZ56kAtQBKPABE59z_WcX6-Vwb3m0-gCj_K09WMqWXhYAEm-p0c37bUDg50s2fqMbrmSLNX_EuMMq6rQu_dx6yYiGqdPytNIxg1bkVMCfyRAw88LvUTSuoNym79uVZeYJIF5px_0w925cVD4vGXpw8VCCiPsni3QzI" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="750" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjew0Er9kTuZJRrzhlqwyNGc2bxaRZ56kAtQBKPABE59z_WcX6-Vwb3m0-gCj_K09WMqWXhYAEm-p0c37bUDg50s2fqMbrmSLNX_EuMMq6rQu_dx6yYiGqdPytNIxg1bkVMCfyRAw88LvUTSuoNym79uVZeYJIF5px_0w925cVD4vGXpw8VCCiPsni3QzI=w150-h200" width="150" /></a></div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEii4u9bTjxIuZZl-u6xi5mQztOnsbhnXimSyHAkKLYGoYy3BV3Q33B1ZlHIIdlVR78n-dpAojPauEDxLE3kQHdCaq3HcC_HrlhpAvP0GPIOse0YoOClzys9n9Coc8DFheDHnlBvQj9Pgy5nBW2Vn0B_Hn_kEZvxfpPhAIm6mfLyHRrDabY2_R4np2xE85k" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="563" data-original-width="649" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEii4u9bTjxIuZZl-u6xi5mQztOnsbhnXimSyHAkKLYGoYy3BV3Q33B1ZlHIIdlVR78n-dpAojPauEDxLE3kQHdCaq3HcC_HrlhpAvP0GPIOse0YoOClzys9n9Coc8DFheDHnlBvQj9Pgy5nBW2Vn0B_Hn_kEZvxfpPhAIm6mfLyHRrDabY2_R4np2xE85k=w200-h173" width="200" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-align: center;"><br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 16px; text-align: left;">My partner, Mike, also tried the vest. He has chronic nerve pain in his neck that at times also radiates into his shoulders and upper back. Mike found the vest to be on the uncomfortable side as for him, he really needed a larger size. He was able to zip it up completely, although I was surprised by this. He said that it heated quickly, and the warmth felt nice. However, once he became too hot he did not want to turn the heat level down to allow the warmth to dissipate to a more comfortable level - he stated he was too hot to wait for that. His shoulders and back were not hurting when he tested the vest although I suspect the heat may have been helpful with pain there for him, had he been having any during his trial periods. He primarily has pain in the back of his neck and did not feel that the collar of the vest provided any pain relief for him. Part of this reason though was because the collar did not stay up against the back of his neck enough for the heat to be of any potential use. Mike said that he wished that the vest was battery operated so that he could wear it without being limited to one space and especially to be able to wear it outside. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 16px; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2WOZIw-MDAwCUV6Lv3W3iNlXpYGbPumaxTB_G2_L-Xdfz4Qrb5gk7zdNbU5YtPXEv_FTe3R0qkpT2h8eulG6RAcHleJB2IARmX0OzAld2dhY2X4FbIbG9kK4m14GHP89sEs6LoPFgeB8LNFFxj9jej-Jndbfb95TOdEhqAS-Ux-DvQamNeRyeCVVlfCY/s2048/393897758_310182825244142_737944463585974787_n.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2WOZIw-MDAwCUV6Lv3W3iNlXpYGbPumaxTB_G2_L-Xdfz4Qrb5gk7zdNbU5YtPXEv_FTe3R0qkpT2h8eulG6RAcHleJB2IARmX0OzAld2dhY2X4FbIbG9kK4m14GHP89sEs6LoPFgeB8LNFFxj9jej-Jndbfb95TOdEhqAS-Ux-DvQamNeRyeCVVlfCY/s320/393897758_310182825244142_737944463585974787_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi14_NdR7SNmBqsj7Li-ZTkZY2l5ciOmO7kfdlq4EODUs8qOmmrEr-8C3m8TnHtkL3IHl3Z57AiQVVLMoFzF_BgwrBGiLlI3jwemZFJ5czbGZoRsQ79_a7ui4DW3A_I2IL3H2f7U8WHHEEbwdaBHc-Z9aTtYco93ujNJfTk8Y7U0moIYfjwrWIgNRjk2IM/s1536/387419561_323848213844160_333812973164458496_n.jpg" style="clear: right; display: inline; float: right; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="1421" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi14_NdR7SNmBqsj7Li-ZTkZY2l5ciOmO7kfdlq4EODUs8qOmmrEr-8C3m8TnHtkL3IHl3Z57AiQVVLMoFzF_BgwrBGiLlI3jwemZFJ5czbGZoRsQ79_a7ui4DW3A_I2IL3H2f7U8WHHEEbwdaBHc-Z9aTtYco93ujNJfTk8Y7U0moIYfjwrWIgNRjk2IM/s320/387419561_323848213844160_333812973164458496_n.jpg" width="296" /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Oddly enough, I remember thinking several months ago about how I wished there was a heating pad product that was not just a regular heating pad but instead could stay close against my back and move with me in different body positions without having to readjust the heating pad placement. I did not think such a thing existed, it never even occurred to me to do a search for such a type of heating pad. But now I'm aware of such items available through Comfytemp and I am thoroughly impressed with the variety of heated items Comfytemp has available. Overall, I am very pleased with and would recommend the <em style="font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://amzn.to/3R0Pn0I" rel="nofollow" style="color: #da6042; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Comfytemp Heating Pad for Neck and Shoulder Pain Relief</a> </em><span style="font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">vest and will be wearing it regularly, in fact I am wearing it as I finish this review.</span></div></div></div><br /></span><p></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-60065275699440991952023-11-28T16:03:00.003-06:002024-01-21T17:10:20.214-06:003 Self-Care Habits That Can Be Started Today<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNH7hSyPr_hGFS5jygYzhgEI3TrZ1x5eZauoxB0MnW87pUAQnKtHS_x-uYH-SesOkGHmZsBJ6U5jXF3oxlgpxlsuXhfLXLUyeiUU9MncWVHw4q4-yyD-RfjwPAPGaJ6f-uM1j914bYmj9MJW2bomARFb-UCsVxOAWT0OuD0EtHhYMroZNWiQl_9E2ba3Q/s1280/self%20care%20habits.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Hands put together to form shape of a heart in front of a sunset" border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNH7hSyPr_hGFS5jygYzhgEI3TrZ1x5eZauoxB0MnW87pUAQnKtHS_x-uYH-SesOkGHmZsBJ6U5jXF3oxlgpxlsuXhfLXLUyeiUU9MncWVHw4q4-yyD-RfjwPAPGaJ6f-uM1j914bYmj9MJW2bomARFb-UCsVxOAWT0OuD0EtHhYMroZNWiQl_9E2ba3Q/w320-h213/self%20care%20habits.jpg" title="Self Care Habits" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #616161; font-family: Copse; font-size: 12px;">This Post Includes Sponsored Links</span></td></tr></tbody></table><p>Self-care is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and yet it is one of the most frequently neglected aspects by many of us. The practice of self-care is not just for mental health either, it is also for physical health as it's vital for helping to reduce health risks of stress, burn out, over working, sleep deprivation, poor diet and hydration and more. The beauty of self-care is that there is no right or wrong answer and there's a vast number of things that <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/06/self-care-rituals-beyond-meditation.html" target="_blank">self-care practices</a> can include, it's highly personalized for what works best for someone. There are, of course, a few main stays for overall well-being that are universal to meet our bodies basic needs that are often neglected as well. Below are 3 self-care habits that can aid in meeting 3 different levels of needs in <a href="https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/maslows-hierarchy-of-needs" target="_blank">Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs</a> that he identified to be drivers for behavior and what makes us fulfilled.</p><p>A vital aspect of self-care that seems often difficult for many to achieve is adequate sleep. This is a basic need and is included the first level of physiological needs in the hierarchy. Without adequate sleep, the body and mind can become dangerously taxed to the point of serious illness. Developing good sleep hygiene is one of the best ways to improve one's sleep, particularly without resorting to medication. The CDC provides <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/sleep_hygiene.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">tips for improving sleep hygiene</a> and provides information for connecting with the American Academy of Sleep Medication for more in-depth sleep education. </p><p>Social needs are another need identified by Maslow on the 3rd level of love and belonging where connection and secure relationships with others is identified. Staying connected to others can be difficult when living with a chronic illness and far too frequently, depression in addition. With chronic illness, we often feel like a burden on others and don't want to ask for "even more" from our friends and family. However, this increases isolation, which in turn, increases risk for depression. With depression, the brain tells us not to do things, such as connecting with others, we have negative thoughts about our relationships with others and our needs, and depression is further reinforced. And so goes the cycle on repeat until something in the chain is broken. One way to help with breaking that behavior chain is to stay connected. Socialization has many <a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-stay-socially-connected-to-society-your-life-depends-on-it" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">additional benefits</a> for physical health in addition beyond just mental health well-being and is easier to do now than it likely ever has been before with a variety of avenues thanks to technological advancements. </p><p>Esteem needs are placed on the 4th level by Maslow where one earns esteem through self-worth, competence, independence, and dignity from within oneself and the respect or acknowledgement one desires from others. Achieving a true level of esteem, fully loving oneself in a healthy way, is not based upon physical appearance, possessions, or the opinions of others but rather how we value, love, and accept ourselves. How we view ourselves can affect our self-esteem and this can even be affected by the care we take in our personal appearance whether it's clothing, basic hygiene or more. When we engage in behaviors that help us feel like ourselves even when we may physically or emotionally not feel at our best, such behaviors can actually help to<a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/dopamine-dressing-how-to-dress-for-your-happiness-in-2022-5217231" target="_blank"> release dopamine</a> and lift our moods. Unfortunately, chronic illness can negatively impact more than not feeling well physically or emotionally but also every aspect of the body, including causing damage to one's teeth. This has been a major concern I have with my esophageal dysmotility, especially when I was having chronic vomiting as not only does malnutrition impact teeth but so does vomiting. Being able to obtain dental guidance and treatments necessary to prevent or repair the damages of chronic illness is not necessarily easy though either due to expense affecting access to care. Similarly, to how there are vision centers that provide promotions and discounts, some dental centers do as well, such as this <a href="https://mysagedental.com/florida/lutz/land-o-lakes-644" target="_blank">dentist</a> in Florida. When I was married, before my then husband had dental insurance, we took advantage of similar promotions to at least be able to afford to obtain a cleaning and exam for him. Dental wise, there are also dental schools and free or low-income dental clinics that offer various dental services to aid with process of obtaining the dental care a person may require for good dental health. </p><p>Whatever new for your self-care habit you're planning to start on, remember to specify realistic steps for achieving your goal and identify how you will know that you've achieved the steps and ultimately the goal of self-care. Doing so helps set us up for success when goal setting and part of self-care is also giving grace for setbacks so that we may stay motivated to continue our efforts. </p><p><br /></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-66843442293157796822023-11-17T19:24:00.007-06:002023-11-30T11:27:13.729-06:00Changing Our Perspectives to Better Our Well-Being<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{5e62f7ee-650b-4da6-a292-82c0a17f71eb}{36}" paraid="1772708223" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><br /></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{5e62f7ee-650b-4da6-a292-82c0a17f71eb}{46}" paraid="280109968" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; text-align: center; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: georgia;"></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr5LoSzrsmzwQxo1TTRvccKB9nVSJ2BvAz4htA5ZIMQeUhDfJ4SHn6WaOhg7bLi_PVKbdhzZVwgSb6X12c4YSJj2B5IKMtKVb3b-d-dGazBmePzIUdzOPmpM4hpvcTUokDq_GTshZVTmlkLQpRhqvET9Fd-_BpqV3Bur8trf-uolOa2P4j0Ovk7zOSNAU/s1243/changing%20perspective.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1081" data-original-width="1243" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr5LoSzrsmzwQxo1TTRvccKB9nVSJ2BvAz4htA5ZIMQeUhDfJ4SHn6WaOhg7bLi_PVKbdhzZVwgSb6X12c4YSJj2B5IKMtKVb3b-d-dGazBmePzIUdzOPmpM4hpvcTUokDq_GTshZVTmlkLQpRhqvET9Fd-_BpqV3Bur8trf-uolOa2P4j0Ovk7zOSNAU/s320/changing%20perspective.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This Post Includes Sponsored Links</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":2,"335551620":2,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 19.425px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><br /></span></span><p></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{05683bbc-b077-41ee-825a-b305486f6acf}{39}" paraid="474585742" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Living with chronic illness can easily lead to feeling like </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">life </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">has become mundane, perpetual routine of medical appointments, treatments, and feeling </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">generally stuck</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> in a rut. If we </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">aren’t</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> careful, we </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">can spiral into depression that further negatively </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">impacts</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> our health and </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">well</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">-being. </span></span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{05683bbc-b077-41ee-825a-b305486f6acf}{39}" paraid="474585742" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><br /></span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{1175338e-a8a2-415a-ad0f-53aa1f2342e9}{111}" paraid="1405705354" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">While we are not always able to change life's situations, we do still have control of our thoughts and actions</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> which </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">ultimately impacts</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> our perspective on life and our well-being as well. Below are some </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">ways to aid with just that – changing perspectives to better our well-being.</span></span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{1175338e-a8a2-415a-ad0f-53aa1f2342e9}{111}" paraid="1405705354" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{70f15e4e-3e27-46b5-846e-58dde09fd7a0}{125}" paraid="1282290316" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Prioritize</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> Self-Care</span></span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{70f15e4e-3e27-46b5-846e-58dde09fd7a0}{125}" paraid="1282290316" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{79cf3189-527b-4990-a8a1-c3bb02973528}{105}" paraid="2141711905" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">I’ve</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> previously shared about my own journey of learning what I needed for self-care and how to </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">maintain</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> it. I had been stuck in a survival mode for decades between my own physical and mental health – I </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">didn’t</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> have the</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> chance to properly learn even what self-care meant or looked like. Self-care looks different for everyone – it truly is a highly persona</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">lized practice. At a self-connection </span><span class="NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2Themed SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-image: var(--urlContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2, url('data:image/svg+xml;base64,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')); background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom: 1px solid transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">retreat,</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> I attended in 2022, I learned many different </span></span><a class="Hyperlink SCXW43712107 BCX8" href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/06/self-care-rituals-beyond-meditation.html" rel="noreferrer noopener" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; user-select: text;" target="_blank"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US">self-care rituals</span></a><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"> </span><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">that I had never thought of before. I absolutely loved the </span><span class="NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2Themed SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-image: var(--urlContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2, url('data:image/svg+xml;base64,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')); background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom: 1px solid transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">retreat;</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> it was refreshing to my </span><span class="NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2Themed SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-image: var(--urlContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2, url('data:image/svg+xml;base64,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')); background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom: 1px solid transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">worn-down</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> spir</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">it and gave me </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">new ideas</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> for how I can care for myself. </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">When we are in the depths of chronic illness, we can so easily forget that at times the </span><span class="NormalTextRun AdvancedProofingIssueV2Themed SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-image: var(--urlAdvancedProofingIssueV2, url('data:image/svg+xml;base64,PD94bWwgdmVyc2lvbj0iMS4wIiBlbmNvZGluZz0iVVRGLTgiPz4KPHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMTBweCIgaGVpZ2h0PSIycHgiIHZpZXdCb3g9IjAgMCAxMCAyIiB2ZXJzaW9uPSIxLjEiIHhtbG5zPSJodHRwOi8vd3d3LnczLm9yZy8yMDAwL3N2ZyIgeG1sbnM6eGxpbms9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzE5OTkveGxpbmsiPgogICAgPCEtLSBHZW5lcmF0b3I6IFNrZXRjaCA1Ny4xICg4MzA4OCkgLSBodHRwczovL3NrZXRjaC5jb20gLS0+CiAgICA8dGl0bGU+aW5zaWdodF90ZXh0dXJlPC90aXRsZT4KICAgIDxkZXNjPkNyZWF0ZWQgd2l0aCBTa2V0Y2guPC9kZXNjPgogICAgPGcgaWQ9Imluc2lnaHRfdGV4dHVyZSIgc3Ryb2tlPSJub25lIiBzdHJva2Utd2lkdGg9IjEiIGZpbGw9Im5vbmUiIGZpbGwtcnVsZT0iZXZlbm9kZCI+CiAgICAgICAgPGcgaWQ9Ikdyb3VwLTItQ29weSI+CiAgICAgICAgICAgIDxyZWN0IGlkPSJSZWN0YW5nbGUiIHg9IjAiIHk9IjAiIHdpZHRoPSIxMCIgaGVpZ2h0PSIyIj48L3JlY3Q+CiAgICAgICAgICAgIDxwYXRoIGQ9Ik0xLDEgTDUsMSIgaWQ9IkxpbmUtNCIgc3Ryb2tlPSIjNzE2MEU4IiBzdHJva2Utd2lkdGg9IjIiIHN0cm9rZS1saW5lY2FwPSJyb3VuZCI+PC9wYXRoPgogICAgICAgIDwvZz4KICAgIDwvZz4KPC9zdmc+')); background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom: 1px solid transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">basic necessities</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> for our well-being are truly just that – necessities. Eating healthy, exercise, and sleep are vi</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">tal for our bodies and mind for the bare minimum of functioning. Without adequate, balanced nutrition and sleep, our bodies will struggle to function</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> – </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">w</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">e need adequate calories just for daily survival, proper nutrients to </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">maintain</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> our electrolyte balance, and sleep for our body to repair itself. Without these keys, our immunity </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">lowers,</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> and </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">our chronic illnesses can worsen. </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Exercise, of any kind for any amount of time, </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">aids</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> physical and mental health as well.</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Chronic illness can make exercise difficult for many of us. However, some </span><span class="NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2Themed SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-image: var(--urlContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2, url('data:image/svg+xml;base64,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')); background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom: 1px solid transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">is</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> always better than none. </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">For some, stretching may be the best and most appropriate form of exercise while others are able to perform more rigorous exercise such as running.</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> The </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">key is to</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> keep our bodies moving as without movement, our muscles atrophy and are less able to support our bodies and pain can worsen significantly.</span></span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{66df3d2b-58df-4168-88c5-a3681ef27a1d}{69}" paraid="812847471" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun AdvancedProofingIssueV2Themed SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-image: var(--urlAdvancedProofingIssueV2, url('data:image/svg+xml;base64,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')); background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom: 1px solid transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">In the midst of</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> surviving and managing all that comes with chronic illness, remember you are </span><span class="NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2Themed SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-image: var(--urlContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2, url('data:image/svg+xml;base64,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')); background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom: 1px solid transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">important</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> and you deserve self-care.</span></span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{66df3d2b-58df-4168-88c5-a3681ef27a1d}{69}" paraid="812847471" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{7f9b8360-9aa1-4e9c-9384-b1e351116a44}{48}" paraid="352919372" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Reconsidering Work Options</span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{7f9b8360-9aa1-4e9c-9384-b1e351116a44}{48}" paraid="352919372" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{7f9b8360-9aa1-4e9c-9384-b1e351116a44}{174}" paraid="824577863" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Not everyone with chronic illness is able to work and some may find it difficult to continue in their current career field.</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> For example, I absolutely loved working hospice, however, my body is unable to</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> tolerate the stress of traveling all day long, every workday. I need a job with minimal travel. I had to reconsider what I wanted to do and what my body could tolerate because of this. </span></span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{9369c33e-702b-4135-bdad-bcaef9c126e0}{104}" paraid="1779951637" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Sometimes though, when faced with chronic illness our passions and </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">expertise</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> change. </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">That’s</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> why I started my rare disease advocacy with Life’s a Polyp, which has opened advocacy </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">opportunities</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> I never imagined or expected. For others, it may be a complete career change </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">though. </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">For example, a friend of mine decided she wanted to add to her own personal medical experi</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">ence and </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">expe</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">rtise by becoming a nurse</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> to help others with her same conditions. What an incredible way to apply one’s own</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> learned </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">expertise</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> to be able to apply it daily to others going through the same experiences! For those with the sam</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">e passion, </span></span><a class="Hyperlink SCXW43712107 BCX8" href="https://www.advantismed.com/travel-nursing" rel="nofollow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; user-select: text;" target="_blank"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US">travel nursing</span></a><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">can be an opportunity to afford one not only the chance to help others but also allow for </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">seeing the world</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">, which may not have been possible previously due to financial constraints often experienced with chronic illness. </span></span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{9369c33e-702b-4135-bdad-bcaef9c126e0}{104}" paraid="1779951637" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fefe0937-2a31-494e-8141-d8f2d494d84d}{245}" paraid="1763871471" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US">Finding Balance</span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{fefe0937-2a31-494e-8141-d8f2d494d84d}{245}" paraid="1763871471" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{8959ed09-f555-4f9a-9102-a52e196603ad}{63}" paraid="228015555" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Balance is a key part to self-care, something we often forget. </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Often times, we will dedicate the majority of our </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">time to</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> other pursuits – whether it’s work or simply daily survival.</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> Either way, </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">when our focus and activities do not allow for self-care, we are at risk of burning out, we become more exhausted physically and mentally.</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> In learning what self-care meant for me, I had to learn what boundaries I needed and how to </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">maintain</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> those boundaries. Part of that was </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">establishing</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">a better </span></span><a class="Hyperlink SCXW43712107 BCX8" href="https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5244-improve-work-life-balance-today.html" rel="nofollow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; user-select: text;" target="_blank"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-charstyle="Hyperlink" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">work-life balance</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-charstyle="Hyperlink" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">.</span></span></a><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> I </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">know that I </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">need two </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">days off in a row from work and I </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">started taking at least one day off every month for myself and taking at least two weeks of vacation each year. At home, I set boundaries for my activities on the weekends to allow a continued activity</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">-rest balance. Knowing our limits and </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">learning</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> to say no without feeling guilty helps us to </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">preserve</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">the</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> energy </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">that</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> we need for self-care an</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">d recovery. </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">That way, we can continue</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> on.</span></span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{8959ed09-f555-4f9a-9102-a52e196603ad}{63}" paraid="228015555" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{0e26ead5-84c3-4426-98f9-fb7e7be77f9c}{201}" paraid="942019234" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US">Establishing New Friendships</span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{0e26ead5-84c3-4426-98f9-fb7e7be77f9c}{201}" paraid="942019234" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{0c52eb5f-de0b-4633-a07e-f3f6ce4d61e0}{74}" paraid="1243523799" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Friendships and community make a world of difference, especially when it comes to rare diseases. I felt completely isolated and lost growing up not having access to community with others outside of my family with my rare diseases.</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">I’ve</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> found also that it can be hard to make new friends as an adult, being out of school and even making friends outside of work – where, </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">let’s</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> face it, most of us spend our time if </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">we’re</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> able to work. Thinking outside of the box </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">of </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">different ways</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> to </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">meet</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span><a class="Hyperlink SCXW43712107 BCX8" href="https://theeverygirl.com/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult/" rel="nofollow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; user-select: text;" target="_blank"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US">new people</span></a><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> can be helpful in building new friendships to help us decrease isolation, grow our suppo</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">r</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">t network, </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">and ulti</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">mately, also</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> add to our self-care. Sometimes it can be difficult to let others in, we often guard ourselves due to our chronic illness in fear of rejection or lack of understanding from others</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> – but leaving our comfort zone can absolutely be worthwhile and rewarding in ways we</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> previ</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">ously </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">hadn’t</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> imagined.</span></span></span></p><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{0c52eb5f-de0b-4633-a07e-f3f6ce4d61e0}{74}" paraid="1243523799" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></p></div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; user-select: text;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW43712107 BCX8" lang="EN-US" paraeid="{a6043409-c3a2-4e4e-9fd0-b3a1d47c61bd}{35}" paraid="2063142204" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; background-color: transparent; font-kerning: none; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; user-select: text; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="TextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-variant-ligatures: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">Living with chronic illness </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">isn’t</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> easy by any means, but we also </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">don’t</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> have to be fully consumed by it. Sometimes, we just need to </span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;">think outside the box</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> to change our perspective and allow new opportunities</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW43712107 BCX8" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> for self-fulfillment to occur so that we may shift from surviving to thriving with chronic illness. </span></span><span class="EOP SCXW43712107 BCX8" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"201341983":0,"335551550":1,"335551620":1,"335559685":0,"335559737":0,"335559738":240,"335559739":240,"335559740":259}" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; line-height: 17.2667px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; user-select: text;"> </span></span></p></div>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-69252271151477456392023-09-25T20:51:00.002-05:002023-09-25T20:54:20.863-05:00La Mémoire Noire<p><span style="background-color: white;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqMJBL2soxcIjRfw2MMZKllFmLuJFPV6gA0u3KuIbt3l0X4gkIctnzA4xArghzmWZVwBx5WCp_Lnj-DJ8JS6MMIQbJGIKtaE0Hi5O37vwt6OsoQSg-PidkQx5EE6RnwgNENLA3YWGg7NvY9CEEzADlWkZu1UMcajLqkpT7jBSuvahcVs4LIdWL8Ce77gQ/s1280/dark%20memory.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="female child peering through the darkness with her eyes visible and barely any of her face showing through the darkness" border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="1280" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqMJBL2soxcIjRfw2MMZKllFmLuJFPV6gA0u3KuIbt3l0X4gkIctnzA4xArghzmWZVwBx5WCp_Lnj-DJ8JS6MMIQbJGIKtaE0Hi5O37vwt6OsoQSg-PidkQx5EE6RnwgNENLA3YWGg7NvY9CEEzADlWkZu1UMcajLqkpT7jBSuvahcVs4LIdWL8Ce77gQ/w320-h218/dark%20memory.jpg" title="The Dark Memory" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="background-color: white;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></span><p></p><p><span style="background-color: white;"><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">La Mémoire Noire or The Dark Memory </span></span>is a letter series written to my first surgeon. The man who caused everything ultimately in my life to reach this point today. I was to have 2 surgeries beginning at the age of 9 and his surgical errors altered the course of my life. Ultimately, I instead would require 7 surgeries and experience repeated life-threatening complications resulting in medical PTSD, suicidal and homicidal ideation. This is trauma I am still trying to heal from nearly 30 years later that has touched every aspect of my life and how I react, view, and process the world. I have a lot of hate and anger for this man. As part of my therapeutic efforts to heal, I am writing this series to him. It is my raw, unedited thoughts and feelings towards this man and all that transpired following my first surgery that he performed. It will be a series that is periodically updated as I process each letter, my trauma, and continue inching towards healing embodying full love and forgiveness for myself and others.</p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p>4/7/23</p><p>I never had the opportunity to tell you how you impacted my life, how your mistakes and arrogance harmed me so detrimentally so. You likely wouldn't have listened anyway; I was just a mere child. You wouldn't even listen to my parents so what is a child to you. How would a 9-year-old know anything? What would a 9-year-old matter? I'm sure I didn't matter to you just as I didn't matter to anyone else there at that hospital except for one nurse. One of your residents did seem to have sense and she tried to talk to you about the care I needed, my safety. My parents heard her, but you ignored her...you and the other men involved. This was the theme of that hospital. How could a woman know anything, how could a female child know anything? We were all just whiny to you and the others there. And yet we were right and the lot of you were wrong, so very wrong, dangerously wrong. I spent my 10th birthday in that hospital, recovering from that initial surgery to remove my colon. Your surgical error required more time than that to try to claim my life. </p><p>Everything would change after that first surgery. I hated you; I still hate you. I still blame you. It's been nearly 3 decades, and I have yet to forgive you. You're even dead yourself now. I read your obituary and it made me sick. You had everyone fooled into thinking you were a great hero for children. But how many others did you almost kill, did you harm, did you f*ck up!? You were no hero. You were the one that didn't matter, not me. Not us. I know there had to be more just like me whose lives were nearly snuffed out or were snuffed out by your hand. And for what? Your ego? Money? I'm sure both...they tend to go hand in hand. Corruption is fueled by ego and greed. </p><p>My hate for you would spread though to innocents around me - to my parents and my pediatric GI specialist. They were the ones truly in my corner trying to protect me from you and the others there. But I was stuck with you for the year. Surgeons don't tend to like to operate on someone after they've been operated on by another surgeon. It gets messy that way. But you created this mess. Not only that, you also convinced all of us that I would never be able to have my ostomy reversed after your created mess. But that wasn't true. It took 6 years for us to figure this out, for a reversal to be attempted. 6 long years full of insufferable psychological pain from the medical PTSD you introduced to me with your mistakes. And guess what...you were wrong, once again. </p><p>You were so wrong about so many things! You couldn't even remember if you had removed one of my kidneys, if my kidneys functioned, or if they had stopped functioning after one of your surgeries on me. And this was something you freely offered up to my parents. You didn't even preface it with a "Let me check my notes". You randomly, freely told my parents that you couldn't remember what you had done to me. Trust meant nothing to you. It didn't matter to you if anyone had any confidence in your competence (if you even had any). Instead, it was as though you deliberately wanted to sabotage any ounce of trust someone had in you. </p><p>And yet your obituary praised you as a hero among children, a savior of lives. Hundreds of lives. A hero, a savior my ass. You deserved a malpractice suit against you, many, I'm sure. You benefited from my parent's ignorance as they were freshly entering this medical world with a child. </p><span><!--more--></span><p>7/29/23</p><p>I finally feel ready to return to this letter series, this effort in learning forgiveness - not only of others, such as yourself dear despicable surgeon, but of myself as well. After I finished my first letter to you, I hated it. It sounded like a child wrote it; it is not my writing style. I have essentially rehearsed the first letter to you for years now in my head. All the things I wanted to tell you, things I wish you had known and wouldn't require a literal child to tell you. But I have no doubt that such things never crossed your mind. I can't imagine that you would care enough about the harm you caused me at the tender age of 9, how you wreaked havoc upon my body and my mind in your callousness and arrogance. </p><p>Instead of placing my hate for you squarely upon your shoulders, I placed hate and judgment on myself after writing and reading the first letter in this series. I realized that I was judging my 9-year-old self, my inner child. I had begun to despise her as in therapy it was brought to my attention that there must be a part of me that wants to survive and that's why I've made it through near-death experiences and that this part of me, must be my 9-year-old self. This felt like such a betrayal to me...how dare a part of me, especially <i>her</i>, dare to go against my wishes. I've spent months in therapy and in meditation, even reiki, focusing my attention on trying to forgive her, ultimately myself, for this betrayal. I went from protecting, loving her to hating her for keeping me alive against my wishes for so many years following the trauma I experienced at your hands. And this was just another example of self-judgement and my difficulty to love myself, forgive myself as I judged the first letter to you. But now I come back to reflect upon, once again, on the devastation you caused with your incompetence. </p><span><!--more--></span><p>9/13/23</p><p>You take up so much of my time, thoughts, and space still....so many decades later. I know that forgiveness is not about the person one forgives. It is about the person doing the forgiving. To allow one to let go and maintain their own power rather than giving away one's power. Logically, I understand this and yet I can't make myself forgive you. You do not deserve forgiveness nor love. I cannot fathom forgiving you or even any semblance of love towards you for simply being a person. That does not mean you inherently have value and deserve love and forgiveness. If there was any inherent value within you for simply being a person, you lost that value. You gave up that value and rights. I don't care that forgiveness is supposed to be about me and not you. It doesn't change the fact that you don't deserve it. And so, you continue taking up space in my mind and my body, your actions searing my mind, my body and dare I say even down to every single cell within my body, the very DNA. At the suggestion of my counselor, I focused meditations on taking back what you stole from me and giving you back what you left me with. Handing things to you, even throwing things at you was not enough violence for the depth of anger I feel towards you. Instead, I began visualizing taking chunks of your body and merging those pieces to my body and ripping parts of my body and throwing them at you until you were black and blue with intent of causing you as much pain as possible. After several weeks of these types of meditations, focusing on what you took and what you gave and completing a give and take in response, I began to tire of the violence and your presence within my meditations and my mind. These meditations became less violent, less of you and more of the simple give and take task. I completed my art therapy project of my before and after of the destruction you subjected me to. My before painting of what life became following your invasion in my life and the after painting being that of my life after I heal from my trauma that began at your hands. I LOVE my paintings. They capture perfectly to the best of my painting ability what I've felt emotionally and mentally all these years and what I am aiming towards. I began utilizing these paintings in my meditations as well. With less of a focus on you and more of my healed version, what I see it as. And I identified my benchmark for healing to be that of when I can fully love and forgive others - it's at this point I will know that I have healed my trauma. I struggle with fully loving and forgiving myself just as I struggle to do this for others well. Both are nearly unfathomable to me but as I chip away my resistance to love and forgiveness, whether towards myself or others, the other will also increase. This is my focus: love and forgiveness of self and others. One day, I will achieve this benchmark and that day I will fully have become victorious over my trauma, over you. I know I can get there too despite my immense resistance to it all. I will not let you always take up so much of my mind, body, heart, and being. One day I will fully be rid of you, free of you, and that day you will wither away into nothingness, the nothingness that you truly are. You will no longer gain power from me and the harm you have caused, undoubtedly, countless children just like me. Eventually, your power on all your victims will become nothingness. I can hear the joyous sounds of your screams at the loss power and control as you fully die - not just the physical death you have already succumbed to, but no, the spiritual death of your being. I see your ethereal being dissipating, spiraling into complete and utter nothingness as you scream in pain of all kinds to every degree possible. The most pain that could ever be caused to you occurring. And I smile. May you be forgotten as though you ever even existed in the realm of the living. I wish all the possible pain upon you and my entire being smiles at that mere thought. You are nothing. You never were anything. It was only an illusion that you tricked the world unfortunate enough to know you into thinking, into believing. That's all it was though, an illusion. You have no power. You are nothing. You are an evaporating vapor, ripping apart every particle, every memory of what you once convinced us you were. The worst pain for you is losing power, losing meaning as you thrived off your ego boosts that you gained from harming, destroying others. It is now your turn to be destroyed. I can't stop smiling at that either.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkzYptcV6jO71hqzfPpHjF7sQBjJy_svrYnNPPVcrS7WMb47bbzT1RphCKqjL_XEATSZogZlGkFHFFZ7GXxR8ElQbFOtaFKMmeHAupeUWdRauHRLuase1ccqEKAYCzpgdoZi6DBg_BefUkwgbiNPezRdVUuLhxnYLXucu4iQ72Nv_X_v-8-R9e5xu4EmQ/s2048/Therapy%20Paintings.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkzYptcV6jO71hqzfPpHjF7sQBjJy_svrYnNPPVcrS7WMb47bbzT1RphCKqjL_XEATSZogZlGkFHFFZ7GXxR8ElQbFOtaFKMmeHAupeUWdRauHRLuase1ccqEKAYCzpgdoZi6DBg_BefUkwgbiNPezRdVUuLhxnYLXucu4iQ72Nv_X_v-8-R9e5xu4EmQ/w640-h480/Therapy%20Paintings.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-6520514072066893942023-06-23T13:00:00.000-05:002023-06-23T13:00:15.492-05:00Living My Best Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkTWfuJZ1ar9LWS5LFD0I4ZOrjYBgb7tfhjS7GeHGBN-6wvpcp5n-dytZgqfubl0HS809htWet4319ErIvaHdX6EMEeNcxEpJ-eq6vaI0Hcqfce5fgtsmyU4YTjG_Zb5G4dM3mUNmzBm7kcBwl-chY7hCZuVqdIrkrYxLbkBe7Pml1arDK-sDjdmFt/s1280/best%20life.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="854" data-original-width="1280" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkTWfuJZ1ar9LWS5LFD0I4ZOrjYBgb7tfhjS7GeHGBN-6wvpcp5n-dytZgqfubl0HS809htWet4319ErIvaHdX6EMEeNcxEpJ-eq6vaI0Hcqfce5fgtsmyU4YTjG_Zb5G4dM3mUNmzBm7kcBwl-chY7hCZuVqdIrkrYxLbkBe7Pml1arDK-sDjdmFt/s320/best%20life.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>I started this article as 2022 was coming to a close and I was reflecting on all that has transpired and what is presently at hand. I only now feel ready to publish it though as it has been a pretty intense 6 months of 2023 already! As I was reflecting on 2022, I had the following questions and answers and I find myself asking them again now in June of 2023.</p><p>Has this been the best year for me? No, absolutely not. Has my life changed for the better this year? Absolutely it has. This acknowledgement led me to the realization that I was and still am living my best life right now. And I'm celebrating it with immense gratitude.</p><p>As a result of my medical PTSD, I've struggled with periodic bouts of depression and intense anger with a longing for death that I've experienced since my first <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/05/fap-beginning.html" target="_blank">surgery </a>at age 9. It didn't help in high school during one of my near-death experiences that I was overcome with the deepest sense of peace I've ever encountered. This <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2016/12/my-death-is-acceptable.html" target="_blank">peace </a>has left me longing for death even more ever since. So, joy wasn't something I regularly experienced or even thought about, much less sought. To me, life has merely been a waiting period full of suffering. This isn't to say that I've lived an unhappy life. Rather, it's often a life overshadowed by <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2019/01/milestone-depression.html" target="_blank">fear </a>- fears of losing my parents or other loved ones, fear of uncertainty, fear of emotional and physical pain, fear of the past repeating itself. </p><p>2021 forced me to dedicate 2022 to focusing on my mental health, learning self-care and allowing self-growth. I started 2021 with emotional turmoil from reliving my own medical traumas while writing my own <a href="https://www.shop.imaginewepublishers.com/collections/mission-books-2/products/chronically-empowered?variant=40975593078938" target="_blank">medical story</a> and my <a href="https://www.shop.imaginewepublishers.com/collections/childrens-books-ages-7-9/products/lifes-a-polyp-with-zeke-and-katie-preorder?variant=41567998247066" target="_blank">children's book</a> about FAP for publication. This was an intense, emotionally exhaustive and long process - much more than I had anticipated. I ended the year with my 8th abdominal <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/08/when-one-thing-becomes-many.html" target="_blank">surgery </a>and new, <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/11/the-continued-mystery-of-my-post.html" target="_blank">unexplained debilitating chronic pain</a> that would take over 6 months for a <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/04/my-new-diagnosis-abdominal-migraine.html" target="_blank">diagnosis</a> of Abdominal Migraine. I also was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia around this time, a new diagnosis for me that I haven't even given any thought to until recently. </p><p>I began 2022 with resuming anti-depressant medication and counseling. Shortly after, within the span of a month, two of my family members who had helped raise me, <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/03/colon-cancer-family-tribute-and-reminder.html" target="_blank">passed </a>away. Not long after that, another family member who had helped raise me moved 2.5 hours away - she was no longer physically close to me in proximity, and it was as though I was losing her too as I was losing those that my childhood life was so firmly founded upon. I was taken back to the loss of previous family members in the early 2000's that shook me to my core. </p><p>In 2022, I added metaphysics courses and <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiMt9Lvnov8AhUDkWoFHfzeDEMQFnoECBUQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.emdria.org%2Fabout-emdr-therapy%2F&usg=AOvVaw0NC3dezFh85xCbXY2gFa3B" target="_blank">EMDR </a>therapy for trauma work to my <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjrqqCGn4v8AhVTkWoFHa3aC5sQFnoECCEQAw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.apa.org%2Fptsd-guideline%2Fpatients-and-families%2Fcognitive-behavioral%23%3A~%3Atext%3DCognitive%2520behavioral%2520therapy%2520(CBT)%2520is%2Cdisorders%252C%2520and%2520severe%2520mental%2520illness.&usg=AOvVaw1_JWngWk4uAFAc6QI5Daql" target="_blank">CBT </a>therapy. While life significantly improved upon appropriately managing the pain of Abdominal Migraine, the end of 2022 wasn't easy either. I started experiencing regular vomiting with the reason only just being determined in May 2023 as that of esophageal dysmotility. I lost another family member and am preparing for the loss of yet another family member. And my trauma work to process not only my past trauma but also my future fears is extremely emotionally difficult work. </p><p>And yet, I'm at a place in my life that I can't deny is the happiest time of my life. I'm cherishing every moment with my parents. I have built a family and life with my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/07/finding-my-person.html" target="_blank">life partner</a>, his son and family. I've regained my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/10/chronic-pain-and-physical-therapy.html" target="_blank">quality of life</a> after enduring a year of debilitating pain. I'm learning and <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/06/self-care-rituals-beyond-meditation.html" target="_blank">practicing self-care</a> and healing from my past trauma. I'm maintaining employment, serving in new advocacy roles for the cancer and rare disease communities and celebrated the <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/05/10-year-blog-challenge.html" target="_blank">10th anniversary </a>of LAP. </p><p>In 2021, I attended my first <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/04/how-reiki-affected-my-mental-health.html" target="_blank">Reiki </a>session and was confronted by my lack of experiencing joy with a challenge to start finding joy. Through all of the hard work I'm doing for my self-care, self-healing, and self-growth - I can finally say that I do experience moments of joy now in life. And they are absolutely wonderful, and I want more of them. I want them so much so that I often am faced with moments of fear and anxiety to hold onto those moments as they're overshadowed at times by my fear of never having them again. This is becoming a lessening concern though as I am incredibly doing well maintaining self-care after a year of trial and error with <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2023/01/learning-balance.html" target="_blank">how to maintain self-care practices</a>. </p><p>I'm also relieved and grateful to finally know the reason for my unexplained chronic vomiting after nearly a year of this issue only worsening and learning what my treatment options will be for it. It is something I've really been struggling with since July of 2022 that was only worsening and taking a heavier and heavier mental toll. With my esophageal dysmotility, I am faced with very limited options for treatment - a muscle relaxer or surgery - both of which my doctor doesn't like. Fortunately, I previously took Baclofen in 2014 following developing a bulging disc in my neck and didn't experience any side effects from the medication. My doctor agreed to allow me to trial it for my vomiting and so far, as long as I time my doses right and don't overeat, I'm able to keep food and drink down! I've decided to not pursue surgery for two reasons - not only because medication is working but also, my doctor confirmed I have another stricture around my small intestine. And as he reminded me, no one really wants to do surgery on me due to my long history of surgeries and excessive adhesions. I fully anticipate in the future it is likely that I will require surgery for the Whipple Procedure and/or to remove the adhesions creating my stricture. I'd much rather at this point, trade a surgery for esophageal dysmotility for one or both of these possibly needed surgeries in the future. There comes a point when a person becomes inoperable, and I don't want to hasten that time for myself any more than what's absolutely necessary. </p><p>The mental toll I've been under this year has also been compounded by developing Post Concussion Syndrome following a fall in February 2023. This is a subject I will explore in a future post but do not presently feel comfortable publicly sharing the full details of what life has been like with PCS at this time except that PCS has been an extremely challenging and nightmarish experience that no one has been able to truly understand how it's affected me except for my partner, Mike. And that has also been a challenge as it has led me to feel isolated, misunderstood, and dismissed by the majority of people in my life because they don't see or grasp what it's like to have a brain injury that isn't healing at an expected or wanted rate. My brain is still healing with slow improvements, which is something I am also extremely grateful and relieved about and hope that when my brain fully heals that I won't have lifelong complications from the injury. </p><p>It's a difficult process to accept when life changes with no guarantee or even signs of improvement to return to how life was previously. In spite of a multitude of changes occurring in the last 2 years with barely any time to adjust to one change before another arises, I can confidently say that presently I am living my best life and even though there are no cures for my conditions, I'm full of gratitude for where I'm at in my life and I eagerly anticipate a world of wonderful things to continue as time goes on. </p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-88823112976605886172023-04-30T14:06:00.001-05:002023-04-30T14:06:38.107-05:00When You're Eager for Medical Testing<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqugaNYtuqlrvFl3n1LiKdzkFr032xqnzMtmBgaDboyoxqPalUghvdBTymEjsP7Antyss_20KB14EgRRm9eifioKlULrPOg02gr-O4B8Ib9LlirtR9QSv389xRi3ghRrD3_U4Xhto0RUug6cESXq9Z-ta4IMBptx2herK4V_P8CNa47s41C8x-vNXw/s1280/excited%20for%20medical%20tests.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqugaNYtuqlrvFl3n1LiKdzkFr032xqnzMtmBgaDboyoxqPalUghvdBTymEjsP7Antyss_20KB14EgRRm9eifioKlULrPOg02gr-O4B8Ib9LlirtR9QSv389xRi3ghRrD3_U4Xhto0RUug6cESXq9Z-ta4IMBptx2herK4V_P8CNa47s41C8x-vNXw/s320/excited%20for%20medical%20tests.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><br /></div>I don't think I've ever been so excited to undergo medical testing as I have this last year. I felt like I was literally begging for any medical test to be ran and I wouldn't even say I felt that way during the 6.5 months I spent seeing <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/09/the-unexpected-after-surgery.html" target="_blank">7 specialists </a>to ultimately diagnose my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/04/my-new-diagnosis-abdominal-migraine.html" target="_blank">Abdominal Migraine</a>. Sure, I was willing to do any test, but I didn't realize at the time that I needed tests to be done...I didn't have any idea of what needed to be done to determine why I was having debilitating pain that kept me bed bound for the day except for my time spent at work. But this year has been different. In fact, everything has been different ever since my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/09/the-unexpected-after-surgery.html" target="_blank">gallbladder removal </a>in August 2021 and I believe this present issue stems from that surgery as well.<p></p><div>My gallbladder removal exacerbated my undiagnosed Abdominal Migraine and I believe it also kickstarted something else - what exactly is yet to be determined. Let me back up and I'll give a brief timeline for understanding. </div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>August 2021 - gallbladder removal, chronic debilitating pain starts following surgery. I'm started on Lyrica in December. After surgery, I begin losing about 10 pounds a month until February because I have no appetite and Mike forces me to eat one meal a day. In March, I started to gain a small amount back and then hold steady as my appetite improved a bit.</li><li>April 2022 - diagnosed with Abdominal Migraine, Amitriptyline medication is added to the Lyrica. Sometime between April and July, I start noticing that not only do I feel full easily and quickly but I also feel like I need to vomit.</li><li>July 2022 - I start vomiting whenever I feel too full. It literally feels like I have food all the way from my stomach to the back of my throat. If I don't vomit, I continually regurgitate it and swallow it on repeat until I lean over, open my mouth, and squeeze my stomach. This is not vomiting caused by nausea. This will begin to progress to increase in frequency and ease to the present day. My weight continues to incrementally increase again until by January 2023, I have gained back almost all of the weight I lost following my gallbladder surgery. </li></ul></div><div></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div>This entire time, I'm keeping my GI specialist informed. I started asking for an EGD, even though I wasn't due for another one until 2023. He tests me for C. Diff, he's monitoring my labs but everything keeps coming back fairly decently. In spite of vomiting up to 3 times a day, I'm maintaining weight. Some days I don't vomit at all. Most of the time when I do vomit, it's not immediately after ingesting food or drink and I don't always eat healthy foods. So my body is still able to get enough calories and nutrients to sustain itself. We try adjusting PPI dosages and trying different PPI medications. I undergo a food test study where I eat a meal with radioactive substance that is recorded in a body machine to determine the rate my stomach empties into my small intestine - to determine if I have gastroparesis. It shows my stomach empties food faster than someone with gastroparesis. </div><div><br /></div><div>In December 2022, I finally undergo an EGD...but it's pretty normal, some mild gastritis but no unusual acid found, no bile seen at all, esophagus looks good, my usual polyps are found, no sign of a hiatal hernia. I ask to complete a SIBO test, just in case. It came back as suspected SIBO...but I question the accuracy because I think I may have skewed the results by doing my baseline breath sample twice because I was uncertain, I had done it correctly at first. But either way, I completed a round of two antibiotics for SIBO. Nothing changes. </div><div><br /></div><div>The only thing that reduces the vomiting, not eliminate it, but reduce it is not ingesting anything. However, I discovered during a partial blockage that when I don't ingest anything...my body will make me vomit bile - and that was one of the most, if not the most, awful taste I've ever experienced. </div><div>I undergo an <a href="https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/12042-esophagus-48-hour-bravo-esophageal-ph-test" target="_blank">EGD with Bravo Test</a> to check the PH level of my stomach acid. For 10 days before the attachment of the Bravo test capsule to my esophagus, I had to stop my PPI. This resulted in vomiting bile that tasted of pure lemon juice. At least it was better than regular bile taste. My throat becomes inflamed and irritated though from the vomiting of bile without the protection of my PPI. The Bravo test comes back with significant acid reflux and esophagitis. I'm still not sure why I needed to complete this test because I've been diagnosed with GERD since my colon removal in 1995. However, my GI assured me that it would be helpful in identifying what may be going on and what steps to take. Oddly enough though, the surgeon I went to in 2021 for a second opinion about my hiatal hernia following my gallbladder surgery recommended an EGD with Bravo Test. The reason he did, I've since forgotten because my hiatal hernia was so small at the time, he wasn't even positive I had a hernia. And I wasn't having the urge to vomit or uncontrolled acid reflux. But fast forward, and I'm going to have that test done anyway. Fine by me, just as long as we're doing something to identify the cause for my vomiting and can attempt to resolve it. <br /><br /></div><div>The next test to complete is an Upper GI Series with Small Bowel Follow Through. Essentially, I drink barium contrast and images are taken as my body digests it to help evaluate for small bowel obstruction. In my experience, this hasn't been very helpful except to say yes, I do have adhesions or in the case of when my small intestine wrapped around itself. But this type of test was unable to determine there was a stricture around my small intestine from adhesions resulting in my near death from excessive vomiting and diarrhea. That was only discovered through <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/06/look-back.html" target="_blank">exploratory surgery</a>. However, I am willing to undergo this test. It is just one step closer to something else being done and a checkmark for insurance requirements for further testing. My GI wants to do this test though due to my history of a stricture around my small intestine caused by adhesions. He thinks that small bowel obstruction could be contributing to my vomiting, and it very well could be, that is what caused my vomiting in high school after my ostomy reversal. </div><div><br /></div><div>The following week I will undergo an <a href="https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/4952-esophageal-manometry-test" target="_blank">Esophageal Manometry</a>. I had a PTSD related panic attack once I looked up this test. A tube must be inserted through the nose into the stomach and then the patient swallows while the tube measures the motility of the esophagus to test for different conditions. I absolutely want to do this test but I'm terrified of being awake while this tube is placed. I think this test is necessary as I've thought all along that there is something wrong with my esophagus. Fortunately, my GI agrees to place the tube under sedation and to allow my dad to be with me during the test to help calm my trauma responses. This is scheduled for May 11. Just like the EGD in December 2022, I am 100% ready to do this test. I am excited, eager, impatient to do this test. In fact, let's do any and every test that may possibly answer why I'm vomiting so it can then be treated. </div><div><br /></div><div>In all reality, I anticipate I'm likely facing surgery to resolve my vomiting at some point in the future. The Esophageal Manometry can help to diagnose or rule out a <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/esophageal-manometry/about/pac-20394000" target="_blank">few conditions</a>, majority of which can be treated with surgery. I accepted a long time ago that I would likely have future surgeries and at this point, if surgery is what will help resolve the vomiting...I'm eager to undergo surgery too and the sooner the better. I just want to identify the source and work on a treatment plan to resolve it. </div>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-9911974730313590712023-01-31T13:47:00.000-06:002023-01-31T13:47:09.902-06:00Learning Balance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhrqSx0E51a-yLU5tDNjdgqtPoha3_Nz5zNYRec6UXkXRLYVdtqINoX4B7xy5daTvJq0qXunvaqbpkJ2_cpUS82I2L6W-Usg5iZEMEHAg6ka2kykB4D7ZvFa7Y_S2qSOuFx6VrAdtrhFz8RcPvInswH2kRJSrPdIQ3RqRY-OnVt6QfuJumuA0ksJcC/s1280/balance.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="990" data-original-width="1280" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhrqSx0E51a-yLU5tDNjdgqtPoha3_Nz5zNYRec6UXkXRLYVdtqINoX4B7xy5daTvJq0qXunvaqbpkJ2_cpUS82I2L6W-Usg5iZEMEHAg6ka2kykB4D7ZvFa7Y_S2qSOuFx6VrAdtrhFz8RcPvInswH2kRJSrPdIQ3RqRY-OnVt6QfuJumuA0ksJcC/s320/balance.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>I spent 2022 <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N48wY_g1WQ" target="_blank">learning self-care</a> after realizing I never actually given myself self-care before. I think this maybe actually could even be considered as <a href="https://psychcentral.com/health/fawn-response" target="_blank">fawning</a>, a trauma response. I have dedicated my life to the service of others, focusing on their mental well-being and empowering them to navigate and succeed in their own chronic illnesses. I was so focused on how to help others, professionally and personally, for the last 13 years that I never stopped to think about what I need. Prior to entering the work force, my life focused on my sheer survival since the age of 9. There wasn't time to think about self-care, my body was just trying to live to the next day and my mind was just trying not to break in the process. </p><p>Now that I've learned self-care, I find myself experiencing great moments. But they're so great that I forget to maintain self-care resulting in a backslide. And not just a mental or emotional backslide, but also a physical one. My physical health and mental health are so closely intertwined that if I don't feel decently, tolerably well physically, my mental health plummets. It may only last a day, or it may last weeks to months. It took most of 2022 for me to finally identify the cycle and its root cause. I feel decent physically and am content emotionally, I overindulge in activity and stop focusing on self-care, I start to have increased physical symptoms, I start to get depressed and then they feed off one another. It isn't until I decrease my activity and heavily focus on my self-care again that I'm able to start to stabilize once again. And then the cycle continues.</p><p>I identified the cycle and its source early in December 2022 and then stayed in a frozen state for a few weeks, terrified to resume activity because I don't yet know how to balance my self-care and my activity without spiraling again. And so, I was left being frozen with fear and feeling overwhelmed. When trying to stop a spiral, I don't do anything beyond working as regular and I only engage in a small activity once during the weekend. There's so much that I want to do, so much that I enjoy but something must give, must change. I knew I needed to evaluate and prioritize my activities to identify a working plan to maintain self-care and prevent continued cycling. The difficulty lied in finally sitting down to do just that. </p><p>With the continued encouragement from my counselors for a couple weeks, I finally allowed time for reflection and evaluation. I decided to maintain self-care I will:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Stop trying to do so much because it is wearing myself thin. </li><li>Weekend activities will be limited to either a) one full day of activity or b) at most, 1/2 day of activity either on one weekend day or both weekend days. The rest of the weekend time I will dedicate to either resting or my rare disease advocacy depending on what I feel able to do at the time.</li><li>I will no longer push myself to rare disease advocacy on weeknights and will only engage in advocacy efforts during these times if I feel up to it. </li><li>I will take at least one day off work every month for myself, even if it is only spent resting at home.</li><li>I will continue EMDR therapy on a weekly basis and adjust my CBT counseling sessions as needed.</li><li>I will increase my antidepressant medication when needed (This was approved by my PCP)</li></ul><div>This plan, I believe, will help take some of the pressure that I place on myself to engage in activities/advocacy efforts on a near constant basis and instead, allow me to benefit from recovery periods for longevity. And as much as I want to do things when I'm feeling well enough to instead of setting limits on myself, I'm going to have to respect these new boundaries for my well-being. I'm going to have to accept that I won't be able to complete as many things as I normally have the past. I'm going to have to learn to stop pushing myself past my limits and to stop judging myself for not accomplishing as much as I would like in a given period. This part of self-care though - setting and respecting boundaries, being kinder and more allowing with oneself. </div><div><br /></div><div>As you may have noticed, I haven't been creating a lot of new content - whether articles or Youtube videos. These are both things that I will continue to do and want to do. However, the schedule will likely be sparser than what it typically has been in the past. </div><div>I will continue to post nearly daily on LAP Facebook, regularly on Instagram and Tiktok as well. </div><div>I'm also remaining active in the FAP Facebook Groups and One Cancer Place and completing guest articles and podcast interviews when able. I would like to start regular Twitch streams but have not yet done so. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, while I may appear less visible in some ways, I have no intention to stop LAP or any of my other rare disease advocacy efforts. I'm just learning how to balance it all. I will remain here and available. Our FAP and Short Bowel Syndrome communities mean the world to me. And I have big things planned for this year as ways of fundraising for the<a href="https://donate.rarediseases.org/give/418387/#!/donation/checkout" target="_blank"> NORD FAP Research Fund </a>so that we may finally fully fund it!</div><div><br /></div><div>If you're struggling with balance as well, I encourage you to take a well-deserved moment to give yourself the time you deserve for self-care so that you may achieve a greater balance. </div><p></p><p><br /></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-31305312386598779202022-10-28T11:11:00.004-05:002022-10-28T18:23:20.056-05:00Chronic Pain and Physical Therapy<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeG1xD62UjjW5Fl1kS2E5LnUpqfXjnTJehLYC3DYJaECpEd-mqMSfbxXYAkCYjXenYSwTSIFTd4zMgCltaBc9ioyO15CkChWUNN4y11XPA9CqqSTJzclnPfuKTzGeM8AQJkvZMLnMOri5hkJumCKgjigt-RWu82VuOIfX5r5BwPINxj9YR71apJw3y/s1280/pt%20chronic%20pain.jpg"><img alt="black and white image of behind of woman lifting barbell" border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeG1xD62UjjW5Fl1kS2E5LnUpqfXjnTJehLYC3DYJaECpEd-mqMSfbxXYAkCYjXenYSwTSIFTd4zMgCltaBc9ioyO15CkChWUNN4y11XPA9CqqSTJzclnPfuKTzGeM8AQJkvZMLnMOri5hkJumCKgjigt-RWu82VuOIfX5r5BwPINxj9YR71apJw3y/w320-h213/pt%20chronic%20pain.jpg" title="Chronic Pain and Physical Therapy" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>Chronic pain – it’s been my companion in life early on. It
served as an early warning system that there was something wrong with my body.
It was with this chronic abdominal pain that led to discovering my Familial
Adenomatous Polyposis diagnosis at age 8. It was with this that my colon was
able to be removed in time to prevent my already turning cancerous polyps from
exploding into cancer at age 9.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I can’t say it has served a noble purpose since then though.
Instead, it’s become a minefield for me to navigate; trying to find my way to
balance it and enjoying life’s activities. Throughout the years, I've required physical or occupational therapy 4 times for the management of chronic pain - back pain, neck pain, tendinitis, and nerve pain.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My first year of surgeries, I remember the chronic pain I
began to experience in my back. During my hospitalizations, I required my spine
to be lined with what felt like an endless row of ice packs to merely numb the
pain. I remember the smell of the powder that lined the inside of the ice
packs. I remember how they felt in my hands and the coldness along my bare
back. I remember the agony. Perhaps, if we had realized during that year that
Morphine doesn’t have any effect on my pain it would have been different. We wouldn’t
realize this though until my surgeries during my high school years. The chronic
back pain would have been different too if my doctors had referred me to
<a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2020/05/physical-therapy-after-abdominal-surgery.html" target="_blank">physical therapy</a> after my surgeries to strengthen my severed abdominal muscles
so that they would be able to support my back again – thereby reducing or
alleviating my back pain. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The next few years I don’t remember much, and definitely not how I physically felt. This blocking out of memories is part of my coping
mechanisms with the medical PTSD I developed from that first year of surgeries.
I believe I must have been healthier during my middle school years – I didn’t
have any hospitalizations during that time. I wouldn't have hospitalizations
again until I underwent my ileostomy reversal in 2001. This would lead to
chronic pain I haven’t been able to ignore or forget since; pain that changes over
the years but has remained constant.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Following my ostomy reversal, due to adhesions I began
having severe abdominal pain that worsened with ingestion of food or liquid.
The severity of this pain has varied over the years. For the first 6 years
following my ostomy reversal, it was at its peak in severity. I remember every
time we’d go to a restaurant, I’d lie down on the bench at our tables, curled up
in the fetal position trying to cope with my abdominal pain. Ethnic foods
caused the most pain amongst the foods I ate – but there wasn’t any food that
didn’t cause pain. My body finally began to adjust to its “new plumbing” I
suppose, and the pain did decrease in severity after those first 6 years. It
remained at this more manageable level until 2015.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">In the meantime, I would develop tendinitis in both wrists and chronic <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2014/09/norms-of-unhealthy.html" target="_blank">neck pain</a>. Due to malnourishment throughout the years, I developed tendinitis in my wrists and degeneration in my neck allowing for a bulging disc to occur. I underwent a few months of occupational therapy to manage the tendinitis pain and I required 6 months of physical therapy to manage my neck pain. I continue to have chronic pain in my wrists and neck at a tolerable level majority of the time, except for sporadic flare ups.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2017/11/seeking-answers.html" target="_blank">2015</a>, I was malnourished and dehydrated from depression during the
height of my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2016/01/when-youre-alone.html" target="_blank">marital issues</a>. As a result, my blood pressure bottomed out while
at work and I fell, hitting my head on hard tile. This event would lead to a
spiral of new pains over the next several years. A spiral that wouldn’t be
fully understood until 2022.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Since I fell at work, I was required to be evaluated at the
ER – which led to my first <a href="http://lifesapolyp.blogspot.com/2015/05/health-maturity-reaching-new-milestones.html" target="_blank">hospitalization </a>since my last one in 2007. During this hospitalization my pain would once again change, and it changed overnight. The
night before I was discharged, I had a headache during the middle of the night –
a rare occurrence at the time. It wouldn’t stop and I was only ordered Tylenol
and Morphine for pain. I don’t like taking pain medication of any kind – so much
so, I forget that OTC medications such as Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Aspirin, etc.
even exist. I couldn’t sleep and the headache pain wouldn’t stop, so I asked
for Tylenol. That didn’t make a difference and my only option was Morphine. I
didn’t anticipate the Morphine to be effective – it never has been before, and
it was in the middle of the night; I didn’t see any sense to have an on-call
Hospitalist be contacted for a pain medication to be ordered for a headache,
especially when I was to be discharged the following day. So, I tried the Morphine
and as expected, it didn’t help my headache. Instead, it caused severe
constipation that would in turn cause severe abdominal pain. Along with this
pain came severe nausea – something I don’t recall experiencing since having my
7<sup>th</sup> surgery to remove adhesions following my ostomy reversal. This
<a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/06/refeeding-is-pain.html" target="_blank">new, severe duo</a> has stayed with me ever since waking up that morning following
accepting the Morphine. It was like a switch had been flipped and it would take
months of trial and error with medications to find the right combination for me. I relied on Bentyl and Compazine three times a day. These were the only medications to manage my
pain and <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/03/life-with-chronic-nausea.html" target="_blank">nausea </a>so that I could function more easily. Without them, it was
difficult to get out of bed much less participate in life. My doctors couldn’t
find any other reason for the new pain and nausea other than adhesions with
gallstones contributing as well. And this is how it stayed until my 8<sup>th</sup>
surgery in 2021 to remove my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/08/when-one-thing-becomes-many.html" target="_blank">gallbladder </a>and adhesions for the 3<sup>rd</sup>
time.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Magically, the first 2 weeks after my 8<sup>th</sup>
surgery, my pain and nausea ceased. I stopped requiring the Bentyl and
Compazine. However, at the 2.5 week mark my pain would once again change – and change
to a level I had never experienced before. The <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/09/the-unexpected-after-surgery.html" target="_blank">new pain</a> reduced me to becoming
bedbound outside of the time I forced myself to go to work. I lived like this
for 4 months following this surgery. Test after test was completed, medication
changes were made; a cause couldn’t be found, nothing helped to provide even a
glimpse of relief other than lying down. Any activity, even sitting up,
worsened my pain. My GI was at a loss and didn’t know what else to do than to
try Lyrica. Lyrica changed my life within a couple weeks my pain started to
lessen to a tolerable level, and I could start venturing out of my bed outside
of work hours. During this time, I was <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/01/seeking-consults-to-obtain-diagnosis.html" target="_blank">consulting </a>with every specialist
possible. After 6.5 months, I finally had an answer and treatment plan – it was
<a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/04/my-new-diagnosis-abdominal-migraine.html" target="_blank">Abdominal Migraine</a> that started from my fall in 2015 and was exacerbated by my
gallbladder surgery.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Fast forward to August 2022, my pain and nausea were well
managed by my Neurologist treating the Abdominal Migraine, but I still had pain
that worsened by too much activity. While I was able to maintain working and participating
in activities of my choice again – I risked a 3-day pain flare anytime I exerted too much activity. What was too much activity? I didn’t know, especially because
the pain flares wouldn’t hit until 2 days afterwards. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But my life would once again change in respect to my chronic
pain when I asked for physical therapy. Within the course of 3 months, I've started to have days with barely any pain, days that I've felt better than I had in
years. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My body had become severely deconditioned during those 4
months of being bedbound and while my medications are appropriately treating my
nerve pain, my muscles were too weak and contributed to my pain. I required
physical therapy twice a week for 2 months to focus on strengthening each of the 6 major muscle groups to better manage my pain. My progress deteriorated too fast
when I decreased to once a week even with exercising at home. I had to slowly
increase my exercises, incorporating new exercises and their frequency and
level of difficulty to manage the pain flares that occurred after each
milestone in my therapy. There were days that were emotionally difficult for me
as I would be filled with frustration and hopelessness with each “setback” in
the progress I was making. There were times I would quietly cry without control
during my therapy sessions during a pain flare. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Over time, I went from not being able to tolerate 2 days of
activity in a row to completing 10 consecutive days of exercise without a pain flare.
I could have kept going too on that streak, a pain flare didn’t stop me from
continuing on. I was feeling particularly emotionally and physically worn that
I let myself have a day or two of rest – and really our bodies need a rest day
after 6 consecutive exercise days.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The last month of physical therapy I was able to decrease to
a session once every two weeks while maintaining exercises at home. Upon being
able to accomplish this decrease without having a pain flare, I was ready to
graduate from physical therapy. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve learned I’m going to have to maintain exercising at
home on a regular basis to manage the pain from my Abdominal Migraine in conjunction
with my nerve medications or the pain will return to its previous level. This
is a challenge for me. I haven’t required to maintain my physical therapy
exercises in the past. Previously, I was able to maintain the gains I made in
therapy, but not this time. My pain level increase once again with a mere break
in exercises for 4 days or more. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I wouldn’t have been able to reach pain management without
physical therapy. I required the professional guidance of not only what
exercises to do but how to do them, the frequency, etc. to move past my plateau
of activity and pain. Now I know what exercises to do to maintain pain
management and what exercises to do during a pain flare. I went from experiencing
difficulty watering my flower garden, sitting or crawling for a few moments on
the floor, to being able to do army crawling – something I didn’t dream being able
to do following surgery. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve undergone physical therapy before and witnessed the miracles
it provides but I didn’t realize the extent of those miracles until now. There
are 2 main things I will always recommend now as part of managing chronic
illness – counseling for mental health and physical therapy for physical
health; they have repeatedly given me back my quality of life. <o:p></o:p></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-51845523654780374272022-08-15T10:10:00.001-05:002022-08-15T10:10:17.725-05:00Advocating at Medical Appointments<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjC9geu1_WwkG11ysyXjs_f8Cv3eUVKUMjXYreJuCFbowcLjOdMMgKY6dMdWVCRhlJ0aZcKN_pXWj4_SFf6QqZ-3CspbjPKBq6FjugLOdlfChyMlIVseZYjJJHdRu2jbRzzajgtkTmWjBrhPIXOxHNy4LS0pM-CatYuFPZXs-sNNP9pp2oLfc1xsTlD=s1280" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="man wearing business suit" border="0" data-original-height="739" data-original-width="1280" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjC9geu1_WwkG11ysyXjs_f8Cv3eUVKUMjXYreJuCFbowcLjOdMMgKY6dMdWVCRhlJ0aZcKN_pXWj4_SFf6QqZ-3CspbjPKBq6FjugLOdlfChyMlIVseZYjJJHdRu2jbRzzajgtkTmWjBrhPIXOxHNy4LS0pM-CatYuFPZXs-sNNP9pp2oLfc1xsTlD=w320-h185" title="self advocacy" width="320" /></a></div><p>Self advocacy is often a trial by error skill that we learn out of necessity with chronic illness. Each encounter with a medical provider may be different and can be a teaching opportunity for us. <a href="https://www.healthaffairs.org/doi/10.1377/hlthaff.2014.0452" target="_blank">Studies </a>have shown that the more someone is motivated to be involved in their healthcare, the better health outcomes a person has. Self advocacy quite literally can make the difference in better or poorer health. </p><p>I've been fortunate to be able to learn from my mother as I watched how she managed not only her own health with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis but also how she managed my medical appointments when I was a child and teen with the same health issues. I watched her in her dealings not only with medical providers but also the insurance and medical supply companies. My mother is a fierce advocate and I learned a lot over the years from her. Here are my best practices that I use for myself for my medical care.</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Research</b></li></ul><span> </span><span> </span><span> The first best thing one can do is be armed with information in advance of your medical appointment. I research my symptoms and my health conditions on a regular basis and I gather information from a variety of sources - health websites, medical studies, medical communities, and medical providers I personally know. </span><br /><p></p><p><span>Knowing about one's health conditions and symptoms is vital not only for personal knowledge and self-advocacy but also to improve coping and adjustment to health issues. Giving up control of one's healthcare management to providers without any input or understanding of health conditions and treatments allows for opportunities for treatment options to be missed. </span></p><p><span>Gathering information from various sources increases the identification of possible health conditions causing new or worsening symptoms, alternative treatment options that haven't been tried yet, and different medical tests to request.</span></p><p>For instance, I abruptly started having <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/03/life-with-chronic-nausea.html" target="_blank">chronic nausea</a> in <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/05/health-maturity-reaching-new-milestones.html" target="_blank">2015 </a>after a hospitalization. The standard treatments of oral Zofran or Phenergan were not effective in controlling my nausea. I researched other medications and remedies for controlling nausea and I asked my online medical communities what has worked for others with chronic nausea. After a lot of trial and error and trying various over the counter and prescription options with my doctor, I was able to effectively control my chronic nausea with Compazine and peppermint oil. If I hadn't researched other options and requested my doctor to prescribe medications I was requesting, I wouldn't have been able to find a tolerable solution to my nausea management. I do the same with requesting medical tests and procedures to be conducted when I'm having a new or worsening symptom - whether that's a lab test or procedure such as a scope or imaging test.</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Specialists vs. Primary Care</b></li></ul><div>For appropriate care to be provided, it is crucial to be followed by the appropriate type of doctor for the condition requiring evaluation and treatment. Primary Care doctors are a great place to start for evaluation but if it is a condition outside of general care, we need to be seen by a Specialist for that condition or part of the body. Primary Care doctors have a general understanding of the body whereas Specialists specialize in specific conditions and parts of the body.</div><div><br /></div><div>When seeking the care of a specialist there are several ways to find a specialist you're looking for. Such as obtaining recommendations or referrals from your existing doctor(s), requesting a list of Specialists from your insurance plan, recommendations from other patients in the chronic illness community, and online medical databases that also provide reviews. Depending on the condition and one's area, some patients choose to be seen by a Specialist outside of their state. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am under the care of 7 Specialists and none of these issues should be managed by a Primary Care doctor, they require the care of Specialists:</div><div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Gastroenterologist </b>manages my GI rare diseases and everything that comes with them and the GI organs I'm missing as a result. He monitors my lab values regularly, adjusts medications as needed, completes my upper and lower scopes on a regular basis, monitors my liver, etc.</li><li><b>Hematologist </b>manages my anemia. While my GI Specialist is able to manage my anemia through oral medication and iron infusions/transfusions as needed, a Hematologist specializes in blood disorders and has an even better understanding of my anemia than my GI specialist.</li><li><b>Nephrologist </b>monitors my kidney. I have renal cysts that she monitors via ultrasound annually, treats my UTIs, and monitors my lab values regularly. She manages my Vitamin D. While my GI Specialist is able to manage my Vitamin D levels and medication, Vitamin D and the kidneys are intertwined providing my Nephrologist a better understanding of this connection.</li><li><b>Neurologist</b> manages my Abdominal Migraine. Once I obtained a neurological disorder diagnosis, my Neurologist began managing my medications to treat the Abdominal Migraine including the pain and nausea that it causes. Previously, my GI specialist was ordering my Lyrica and nausea medications when we believed it was solely a GI issue.</li><li><b>Endocrinologist </b>monitors my thyroid. With FAP, a yearly ultrasound of the thyroid is needed to monitor for cancer risks. She also monitors my thyroid via labs as well. </li><li><b>Gynecologist </b>not only monitors my reproductive health but she also monitors my hormones to ensure my estrogen is within range and not worsening my Abdominal Migraine. My organs are adhered to my abdominal wall and pelvis by scar tissue and I have a large ovarian cyst, she monitors these issues to determine if either are attributing or worsening my pain levels and to treat the issues as indicated.</li><li><b>Dermatologist </b>monitors and treats any skin issues I have. While I don't require regular appointments at this time, she has treated me for cysts and scars from my abdominal surgeries that weren't healing. </li></ol></div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Request and Review Medical Records</b></li></ul><div>Obtain copies of all of your medical tests and procedures including history and physicals. Request the images of any imaging tests done. While the majority of people aren't able to read their own imaging disks, it can be helpful to have them on hand in case a future provider would like to see the images. Review your medical records, compare them to previous records, and ask questions to your providers about any concerns or questions you have in your records and test results. Keep a copy of your medical records in a folder to take with you to doctor appointments, especially with new providers.</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Track Symptoms in Detail</b></li></ul><div>Keep track of your health symptoms and any changes to them in detail so that you can accurately and fully discuss your symptoms with your provider. </div><ul style="text-align: left;"><ul><li><span>What the symptoms are and what they feel like</span></li><li><span>When they started, changed, or stopped</span></li><li>Duration of symptoms</li><li>What affects the symptoms - medications, foods, etc</li></ul></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Keep a List of Everything to Discuss at Appointments</b></li></ul><div>Medical appointments can easily veer off track from how you anticipate they'll go and it can be easy to accidently leave out information or questions. To stay on track with your concerns and questions, keep a list of everything you want to discuss in your medical appointment - questions, symptoms, concerns, treatment or test requests, etc. Take with you any applicable medical records or research to your appointment with your list of things to discuss.</div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Create Online Accounts with Medical Providers</b></li></ul><div>The easiest way to communicate with your doctors is to create online accounts. This is easier for you and for them. This saves you time waiting on hold and will reduce your wait time for a response. It is much faster for a provider to read your question or concern and reply to you than to try to reach you via phone. Some providers have online portals but don't check them as regularly as others. Ask your provider what their process is with the online portals. If you have sent a message and not received a response back within a week, call the office. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>Another benefit of the online portals is I receive electronic copies of all my labs, office visit summaries, medical procedures and tests that are completed with my lab and hospital system. I can also request records through my hospital online portal without having to call or fax a request. </div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Maintain Regular Communication with Providers</b></li></ul><div>If you have a change in health or a concern and don't contact your doctor in between your appointments, they will assume everything is stable. For your doctor to best provide care, it is essential to maintain regular communication with providers to alert them of any health changes, concerns, or questions you have. They are unable to help you if they don't know something has changed in between appointments.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>The easiest way to maintain communication is via online patient portals, however, calling the office remains better than waiting until your next appointment when there's an issue. </div><div><br /></div><div>My GI specialist says I use my online portal more than any other patient of his!</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Avoid HMO Insurance Plans</b></li></ul><div>HMO insurance plans significantly reduce your medical care freedom by requiring referrals to see other doctors and also have a smaller in-network selection of providers. If at all possible, choose an insurance plan (i.e. PPO) that doesn't require referrals. Having the freedom to schedule your own appointments with any in-network doctor saves you valuable time, stress, and increases your ability to access medical care. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>As a child, when I started having chronic abdominal pain, my parents had an HMO plan. A referral to a GI specialist was required by the <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/09/medical-angels-and-demons.html" target="_blank">PCP </a>in order for me to be evaluated. My PCP refused to refer me for evaluation stating I "was just a whiny child". My parents had to change to a PPO plan in order to obtain GI evaluation and it was discovered I had inherited Familial Adenomatous Polyposis from my mother and a year later I required my colon to be removed due to my colon polyps starting to turn cancerous. The possible alternative outcomes at the time are countless and unknown due to delay in care caused by having an HMO plan and a PCP who refused providing referrals. </div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Obtain Consultations </b></li></ul><div>Don't hesitate to ask to be seen by other medical specialties for consults and second opinions. If you have a PPO insurance plan you can find a provider in-network and schedule a consultation without requiring anything from your existing doctors. Specialists are trained to focus primarily in their area of expertise and while your health issue may not be in the realm of another specialist, there's no harm in obtaining a consultation to confirm if something else is occurring.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>For instance, I have been having <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/11/the-continued-mystery-of-my-post.html" target="_blank">chronic pain</a> shortly after my 8th <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/09/the-unexpected-after-surgery.html" target="_blank">surgery </a>to remove my gall bladder. After my surgeon released me after ordering a few tests to try to determine the cause of my pain, my GI specialist took over the evaluation. I obtained a second opinion from another surgeon and without success from the tests my GI specialist was ordering, I scheduled an appointment with a Rheumatologist and Neurologist for <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/01/seeking-consults-to-obtain-diagnosis.html" target="_blank">consultations</a>. Rheumatology was unable to identify any issues in their field but the neurologist was able to provide me a diagnosis and treatment plan for my symptoms. It took 6.5 months and consulting 7 specialists, but I finally was diagnosed with <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/04/my-new-diagnosis-abdominal-migraine.html" target="_blank">Abdominal Migraine</a>. </div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Ask About Differential Diagnosis</b></li></ul><div>A differential diagnosis is a list of possible conditions that share the same symptoms. This is not a final diagnosis but rather a theory of possible causes for particular symptoms. Once you have this list, then you can ask your provider about each potential cause of your symptoms - why does your provider think or doesn't think X is causing your symptoms and so forth through the differential diagnosis list.</div><div><br /></div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Request Explanation and Documentation of Denied Medical Requests</b></li></ul><div>If you ask your provider for a certain medical test to be performed or a medication to try and your provider refuses to order the test or medication, then ask why that test or medication isn't being ordered for you. After receiving an explanation, if you still believe the test or medication should be ordered and the provider refuses again, tell your provider that you want your request, the provider's refusal to order the requested items, and the reasoning for refusal to be documented in your medical chart. </div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Change Providers</b></li></ul><div>If you aren't comfortable with any of your doctors, discuss your concerns with the doctor and if the issues aren't resolved, you have the right to change providers - essentially firing them. This can be more difficult if available providers is limited by HMO insurance plans or the area where you receive care (i.e. rural). If possible, it can make a significant difference in medical care if one is able to travel further for care. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>There are some instances where the process of changing providers needs to be carefully done to preserve continued treatment. For example, a dialysis patient cannot receive dialysis treatments without being under the care of a nephrologist. While a dialysis patient can change to a different nephrologist, it is vital for the patient to have an accepting nephrologist before ending care with (firing) their nephrologist to avoid any lapses in their care.</div><p></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-70800189982241458852022-06-15T17:58:00.003-05:002022-06-15T17:58:52.588-05:00Self Care Rituals Beyond Meditation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbvjv8darXnEyvuZCg5AuKP52kS83B_ttFjPPjzxLOcMzfN5WcpXe-wR2yrGsKnE7N8f3pv0CnCyyb9frD1HEpHxNwE2tI7X8ziFeAfZuCFGgiJfQuhiMG4oIcfv1x8x_fpr90PiEEnOMnOKAdQbA9_4FQ6ArDELqCFwzpIVBKjGCpdOR-MR0N7IUq/s1280/retreat.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1280" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbvjv8darXnEyvuZCg5AuKP52kS83B_ttFjPPjzxLOcMzfN5WcpXe-wR2yrGsKnE7N8f3pv0CnCyyb9frD1HEpHxNwE2tI7X8ziFeAfZuCFGgiJfQuhiMG4oIcfv1x8x_fpr90PiEEnOMnOKAdQbA9_4FQ6ArDELqCFwzpIVBKjGCpdOR-MR0N7IUq/s320/retreat.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>I attended a reconnection retreat this Spring focused on reconnecting to myself, others, and the universe. Here I learned and practiced new self care rituals beyond the typical meditation for mental health. As I've shared before, the last year has been physically and emotionally difficult leading me to <a href="https://youtu.be/3N48wY_g1WQ" target="_blank">relearning self care</a>. I hope you'll enjoy the following as much as I did at my retreat.</p><p>Meditations have been found to have profound <a href="https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-benefits-of-meditation" target="_blank">benefits </a>upon the brain, mind, and body with just 11 minutes a day of meditation for 8 weeks changing the amygdala and hippocampus of the brain thereby reducing fear and increasing emotion regulation. </p><p>The retreat day started by sharing a welcoming invitation into the space and welcoming yourself and your neighbor to be present with the idea that we are all on a pilgrimage. One's pilgrimage may differ from another's - perhaps it's a journey of self acceptance or letting go. No matter the personalization, we were on a pilgrimage in life and this brought us to letting go rituals.</p><p><b>Letting Go Rituals</b></p><p>We wrote about something we would want to let go of and then we could burn or bury it. Or perhaps, we would hold onto a small rock for the day's journey and at the end release the rock and what we had instilled it with and let go at the end of the day.</p><p>I chose to write a letter to my younger self and keep a rock that I was instilling the contents of the letter only I would keep both so that I may remind myself of what I needed to let go when I tend to forget. Also, the rocks symbolized a vault for me so I can lock away what I need to let go of inside this rock and look upon it as a reminder.</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">Dear Young Self,<br /></span><span style="text-align: center;">You have endured so much trauma for such a young, tender age. Things no one should experience, especially as a child. These lessons seared into your being - flesh and soul, burned and scarred forever more. The pain so deep on the mind festering.<br /></span><span style="text-align: center;">How were you to cope, there was no way. So you blamed others for your pain and waged war against them. Although you have forgiven most, there is still more to do. You are not free through you've tried so hard and worked so hard. The work is not done nor may never be. You are a work in progress and that is ok, that is life.<br /></span><span style="text-align: center;">Give yourself the permission to be - to be how you are and how you want to be. You've come so far, too far to quit now. You will go so far when you let yourself be.<br /></span><span style="text-align: center;">Life isn't all joy but it isn't all sorrow either. You can and should experience both. You need both to grow. It creates the right environment as there is no progress without lessons. Let yourself feel the pain, remember Let It Burn and the soul torture you felt and the strength it gave you. You have that in you still. Draw from it, use it. You don't always have to feel it, but remain aware and open to life.</span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">Let yourself live and enjoy what life gives you. Do not over burden yourself. Let yourself be.</span></blockquote><p><b>Labyrinths</b></p><p><a href="https://www.veriditas.org/New-to-the-Labyrinth" target="_blank">Labyrinths </a>were introduced as a physical meditation - to purposely walk slowly to allow the mind the think. The retreat grounds had two labyrinths to walk and a hand labyrinth was allowed as an alternative. There are a variety of hand labyrinths available for download <a href="https://www.relax4life.com/download-paper-finger-labyrinths/" target="_blank">here</a>. </p><p>I did not participate in the labyrinth exercise but it sounded like an intriguing practice I would like to participate in the future for the mental and emotional benefits of purposeful walking with contemplation. </p><p><b>Gratitude Circle</b></p><p>Next was a gratitude circle with journaling prompts. There are a variety of <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-gratitude-practice" target="_blank">mental health benefits</a> for a regular gratitude practices.</p><p>First we envisioned ourselves during a visualization as our future selves. What does your future self look like, where are they and what do they share with you? How are you different?</p><p>Within the gratitude gathering circle, what are you hearing lately and how have you been responding? What do you need to hear? What gifts do you have that you can ponder upon?</p><p>Utilizing a form of <b>GRACE </b>as a Daily Examen,</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Gratitude </b>- ponder what you're grateful for</li><li><b>Request Oneness </b>- seek wholeness and harmony with the universe </li><li><b>Attitudes and Actions</b> - think of your attitude and actions, do they align with a grateful heart</li><li><b>Cocreate </b>- convert or change one thing to another - negative to positive</li><li><b>Enthusiasm </b>- enthuse about your gifts, gratefulness, and life</li></ul><p>My future self told me that I have, I need strength, courage, and appreciation. Strength and courage to make changes and go through changes of life. Appreciate people in my life, keep them in my heart now and relish, savor time with them. Do what makes me happy, find happiness in what I do. Let myself make changes if I need to in order to be happy not just safe but also happy. There is happiness in where I am and what I do but I can change to find more if I want to. </p><p>It came to me during the circle that I place a lot of pressure upon myself to do everything even when I'm told by others that I don't need to do everything. I need to give myself permission for openness to life and to balance.</p><p></p><p><span><b>Lectio Divina Meditation</b></span></p><p>We then completed a Lectio Divina exercise with the poem <i>Finisterre</i>. This was completed in a group by slowly reading the written work three times. The first time to identify a word that illuminated itself to yourself, the second a phrase, and a third time to journal our reflection. This practice could be done with any written work.</p><p></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>Finisterre</i></p><p></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center;">The road in the end taking the path the sun had taken, into the western sea, and the moon rising behind you as you stood where ground turned to ocean: no way to your future now but the way your shadow could take, walking before you across water, going where shadows go, no way to make sense of a world that wouldn't let you pass except to call an end to the way you had come, to take out each frayed letter you had brought and light their illumined corners; and to read them as they drifted on the late western light: to empty your bags; to sort this and to leave that; to promise what you needed to promise all along, and to abandon the shoes that had brought you here right at the water's edge, not because you had given up but because now you would find a different way to tread, and because, through it all, part of you would still walk on, no matter how, over the waves.</p><p></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center;">- David Whyte</p><p></p></blockquote><p>For me, the word that highlighted itself upon the first reading was <i>promise </i>and the phrase upon the second turn was <i>at the water's edge</i>. And so I reflected upon this and journaled:</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;">I am at a precipice, a turning point where I can change my course to whatever I want. I owe that to myself, to care for myself and do what would be good for me. I need to honor myself by taking care of myself. </p></blockquote><p><b>Metta Meditation and Sound Healing</b> </p><p>We completed the retreat with a guided Metta Meditation and Sound Healing. We were guided through the following loving kindness meditation to help replenish ourselves so that way me then replenish others. During this, we thought of those important in our lives who drew support and love from and who we wished to send support and love to as well.</p><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Metta Meditation - Loving Kindness Meditation</b></div><div style="text-align: center;">May I be happy</div><div style="text-align: center;">May I be healthy</div><div style="text-align: center;">May I be free of suffering</div><div style="text-align: center;">May I live in peace</div><div style="text-align: center;">May my life be blessed with ease</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">May you be happy</div><div style="text-align: center;">May you be healthy</div><div style="text-align: center;">May you be free of suffering</div><div style="text-align: center;">May you live in peace</div><div style="text-align: center;">May your life be blessed with ease</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">For the <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17515/what-you-need-to-know-about-sound-healing.html" target="_blank">sound healing ceremony</a>, or sound bath, our guide then played a variety of music from a gong to Tibetan bowls to create soundwaves that reverberated through our bodies and minds. At times the sounds were overwhelming and felt as though they entered and left the body entirely. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-8200851984202799812022-05-23T10:42:00.002-05:002022-05-24T13:12:17.276-05:0010 Year Blog Challenge <p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnEhJnCQipbZb3f4B-dtxpwhw_UiVe9xCXRIXBIX-WiNWdN4LKI-U023a-amya9Q8_edeeeo2ObXZWYdWoQ0twOSTFJSVUWLeZCr52ux6asM30t3V_h-AJ0DkIyNK6ZziVSnFp5Mos2tPfVDj3Ep2HqitwqlXN77i3OfxsXS8C11hLrI1DS2xJrdR1/s2703/10th_Logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2491" data-original-width="2703" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnEhJnCQipbZb3f4B-dtxpwhw_UiVe9xCXRIXBIX-WiNWdN4LKI-U023a-amya9Q8_edeeeo2ObXZWYdWoQ0twOSTFJSVUWLeZCr52ux6asM30t3V_h-AJ0DkIyNK6ZziVSnFp5Mos2tPfVDj3Ep2HqitwqlXN77i3OfxsXS8C11hLrI1DS2xJrdR1/s320/10th_Logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>It's Life's a Polyp's 10 year anniversary! One of the ways to celebrate I thought would be to do the 10 Year Challenge but blog style!</p><p>So much has happened for LAP and myself in the last 10 years. I shared about previously in <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/05/the-evolution-of-myself-with-chronic.html" target="_blank">The Evolution of Myself with Chronic Illness</a> how I've evolved in a large part thanks to LAP and the online Familial Adenomatous Polyposis community that not only urged me to start a blog but also has supported me throughout the years. </p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7HphES0HCp1S-05G9QGqMWqxken1oYDZnH-Uv7cLVo43TtNW5GTe-v85mbJZnmZZU58h3i_ljfUska1zuHCVIq7r5Rz2EbeqRQuO0yOM86r42Gi17MwD557cGaSCkzhk0JQGsVU7G76zajaMHdQl0d9iOBTnI6BXS3bF5xnAMmWpjyXij8ceUHryQ/s220/profile%20one.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="220" data-original-width="180" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7HphES0HCp1S-05G9QGqMWqxken1oYDZnH-Uv7cLVo43TtNW5GTe-v85mbJZnmZZU58h3i_ljfUska1zuHCVIq7r5Rz2EbeqRQuO0yOM86r42Gi17MwD557cGaSCkzhk0JQGsVU7G76zajaMHdQl0d9iOBTnI6BXS3bF5xnAMmWpjyXij8ceUHryQ/s1600/profile%20one.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>I went from an incredibly shy individual shrouded in anonymity to identifying myself and broadcasting my own medical experiences to anyone who will listen over the last 10 years.<p></p><p>To begin, this was my profile and banner in my effort to remain anonymous. Carrying the symbolism from LAP into my photos, I edited using red filters.</p><p> I couldn't bear the thought of bringing attention to myself directly or being "found out" in fear of judgment for my health experiences. I was still insecure about my rare diseases and the personal details that come along with chronic illness, specifically GI illnesses.</p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4KuCGky07GFCNVmOdeCrv29WxA_roRm2I6gJgZWiYlXa643HNhBkaRpMX0RKYSqKg5Y3YdfJ6aHL-G1MkHv4eCCXVqCD9yvYgUHPHx7GgH_LyRku4xxc80W5hEATx5V4wis4HMmvH6vumz7yMs37iPJXEnOQjg5yaDL7DPoborBTBV80q7ng3p_B1/s719/cover%20one.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="265" data-original-width="719" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4KuCGky07GFCNVmOdeCrv29WxA_roRm2I6gJgZWiYlXa643HNhBkaRpMX0RKYSqKg5Y3YdfJ6aHL-G1MkHv4eCCXVqCD9yvYgUHPHx7GgH_LyRku4xxc80W5hEATx5V4wis4HMmvH6vumz7yMs37iPJXEnOQjg5yaDL7DPoborBTBV80q7ng3p_B1/s320/cover%20one.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>Staying with the red theme of the GI tract, I edited a photo I had taken and used for my then husband's business.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-B6LR8TBJJVF6pcIbpFmDXQwVwwSursJTFpC7Id8kN7mwe-PH822SrZW7EWgKJeEVCrZSlEbhEnHEU6LH01ZNesQx49JJJFa_f0yTP4L207Sw2BqBjC3ExEyQ9NlXzqpCi_WF146KHGEpXGFzbFx5BJlS5o2GJvkAVZYObHP03rsTZKeU1G3fQkcX/s2048/cover%20two.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="2048" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-B6LR8TBJJVF6pcIbpFmDXQwVwwSursJTFpC7Id8kN7mwe-PH822SrZW7EWgKJeEVCrZSlEbhEnHEU6LH01ZNesQx49JJJFa_f0yTP4L207Sw2BqBjC3ExEyQ9NlXzqpCi_WF146KHGEpXGFzbFx5BJlS5o2GJvkAVZYObHP03rsTZKeU1G3fQkcX/s320/cover%20two.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>Then I drew myself riding a polyp in the colon to portray the symbolism of Life's a Polyp.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIPltuh8H3H_GPhVJZs1sdTr0yO5EcUy8ty4CbOrOBcWS9YYBEbK4lPCvNFk1hyppcREKp5ivDn9b-wij-7s_Ame-eMtT2ylKEVdwLGrhgejXTwPORKIYC8vcpaBVK5EnMKLY0gOWlejEe60ZpkDp2NcORQ2VxX3y6aocuJsJNU9ZyWjbMkusuZWYr/s2048/profile%20two.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1533" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIPltuh8H3H_GPhVJZs1sdTr0yO5EcUy8ty4CbOrOBcWS9YYBEbK4lPCvNFk1hyppcREKp5ivDn9b-wij-7s_Ame-eMtT2ylKEVdwLGrhgejXTwPORKIYC8vcpaBVK5EnMKLY0gOWlejEe60ZpkDp2NcORQ2VxX3y6aocuJsJNU9ZyWjbMkusuZWYr/s320/profile%20two.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>With the encouragement of a very kind lady, who made alot effort to discover my likely identity in order to reach me and help me further the reach of Life's a Polyp.</div><div><br /></div>This extra encouragement and support gave me the strength to reveal myself to the world.<div><br /></div><div>With this new level of confidence, I had a few photos taken and this became profile photo.</div><div><br /></div><div>I love the symbolism of this photo - slaying the infamous FAP polyps in the colon.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Lia-qn7ridGMX3__T_Twihap0is6XLuIlQUtG5RRhkoG0H409ONvVsye9LoIa2k4Xn9W9yKcpALw03pxhLz5RFMuY10ALbz3UxbtgSE328-WESuIACN71DN1pI4XFX3JK6p9I7_mm5l6YI_g3AZThHmRjeNI3L1dTSTFu9RePnslpIZ8tEyOtccX/s2048/cover%20three.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="2048" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Lia-qn7ridGMX3__T_Twihap0is6XLuIlQUtG5RRhkoG0H409ONvVsye9LoIa2k4Xn9W9yKcpALw03pxhLz5RFMuY10ALbz3UxbtgSE328-WESuIACN71DN1pI4XFX3JK6p9I7_mm5l6YI_g3AZThHmRjeNI3L1dTSTFu9RePnslpIZ8tEyOtccX/s320/cover%20three.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>For the next wave of banners, I used another photo from the session with the same symbolism.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvk2Khh0KScE-vx2lPrC9qJwozM6kB5oXnhYuSs6O_aR-I9hkkFqRtjaCZMaqASbjM1tY_RP5tDvYX5DZVCe-I1DTlqflwl4No3FzdULEGg7mYKQYwDbqcN8HMXLqxaC3Qs3kk171i-1_IgDkgtSCdgRWUGOhEpqWSzxovG6jP5D2WppqKb0AU33Ch/s2048/cover%20four.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="2048" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvk2Khh0KScE-vx2lPrC9qJwozM6kB5oXnhYuSs6O_aR-I9hkkFqRtjaCZMaqASbjM1tY_RP5tDvYX5DZVCe-I1DTlqflwl4No3FzdULEGg7mYKQYwDbqcN8HMXLqxaC3Qs3kk171i-1_IgDkgtSCdgRWUGOhEpqWSzxovG6jP5D2WppqKb0AU33Ch/s320/cover%20four.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>And of course, as LAP expanded, I updated the banners to reflect new avenues such as the LAP Shop and YouTube channel. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And today you see the newest profile and banner photos thanks to <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/07/finding-my-person.html" target="_blank">Mike</a>!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfiQskX9tTPHV5aJJ8UUOd0iomHDD7TnxYoHOyTCiNkyS115axtZCmsESBomeN2gD51FlPr8CSHxOvpe-tms-WPlqK5RNEpP0f-FWvkPULcZ9IBNSM8_YN7g0NggsfiNvXFCDLbVZlfBBOD53kKsa1jEMbw9QkiV0jOKRAAexPumPv5cqw_C-seX-Z/s1607/thumbnail.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1072" data-original-width="1607" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfiQskX9tTPHV5aJJ8UUOd0iomHDD7TnxYoHOyTCiNkyS115axtZCmsESBomeN2gD51FlPr8CSHxOvpe-tms-WPlqK5RNEpP0f-FWvkPULcZ9IBNSM8_YN7g0NggsfiNvXFCDLbVZlfBBOD53kKsa1jEMbw9QkiV0jOKRAAexPumPv5cqw_C-seX-Z/w200-h133/thumbnail.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjByMaTqfoFne--Dcw0pdlxJTSAdueo6-wF9LUrI2oF65IT3Qmcj4-A4WFCE7Oa0mDixO166---ItjnBqWhi5uEqAOPAek9UABr80VVJNDeaZHeRwW_uHm1kJwvYCvIWG7c3yzhyVltPFG4irCN5BKnz-u2CWoHxuqfp1T9Ac8A1FEorj0uRsF7kgDg/s2550/Banner.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="2550" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjByMaTqfoFne--Dcw0pdlxJTSAdueo6-wF9LUrI2oF65IT3Qmcj4-A4WFCE7Oa0mDixO166---ItjnBqWhi5uEqAOPAek9UABr80VVJNDeaZHeRwW_uHm1kJwvYCvIWG7c3yzhyVltPFG4irCN5BKnz-u2CWoHxuqfp1T9Ac8A1FEorj0uRsF7kgDg/w400-h118/Banner.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>To celebrate a decade of education, awareness, and empowerment Mike designed the special anniversary design for me which was added to <a href="http://www.cafepress.com/lifesapolyp" target="_blank">Life's a Polyp Shop</a>, we had 3 restaurant fundraisers for the <a href="https://rarediseases.org/donate-to-nord-restricted/" target="_blank">NORD FAP Research Fund</a>, raffles, and Imagine We Publishers donated 10% of sales of <a href="https://www.bookstore.imaginewellc.com/collections/childrens-books-ages-7-9/products/lifes-a-polyp-with-zeke-and-katie-preorder?variant=41567998247066" target="_blank">Life's a Polyp with Zeke and Katie</a> to NORD FAP Research Fund as well! </div><div><br /><p>I also wanted to share some of my favorite blog posts and memories over the last 10 years.</p><div>Over the years I've had some wonderful guest writer articles including:</div><div><ul><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/06/turning-age-95-with-familial.html" target="_blank">Turning 95 with FAP</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2020/09/fap-and-feeding-tube.html" target="_blank">Feeding Tube</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2020/06/desmoid-tumors.html" target="_blank">Desmoid Tumors</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2020/05/a-journey-from-running-away-to-running.html" target="_blank">Journey for Running Forward</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2019/06/5-steps-to-take-when-coping-with-grief.html" target="_blank">Coping with Grief and Chronic Illness</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/06/a-look-at-caregiving.html" target="_blank">A Look at Caregiving</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2017/09/dialectical-behavioral-therapy-for.html" target="_blank">DBT for Chronic Pain</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2016/01/youre-not-lost-how-to-find-yourself.html" target="_blank">Finding Yourself after a Life Detour</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/06/chronic-illness-teaching-moments.html" target="_blank">Teaching Moments</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/03/a-mission-for-early-cancer-detection.html" target="_blank">Early Cancer Detection</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/02/one-real-wish-and-one-true-fear-in.html" target="_blank">FAP Clinical Trials</a></li></ul><div>Highlights through the years include:</div></div><p>2021</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/08/when-one-thing-becomes-many.html" target="_blank">8th Surgery</a> - what led up to my 8th abdominal surgery<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/07/finding-my-person.html" target="_blank">Finding My Person</a> - I found my soulmate and we made a lifetime commitment to one another<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/05/ostomy-reversal-anniversary-20-years.html" target="_blank">20 Year Reversal Anniversary</a> - I celebrated 20 years with my ostomy reversal<br /></li></ul><div>2020</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2020/07/navigating-and-understanding-school.html" target="_blank">Understanding School Accommodations</a> - reviewing school accommodations for students<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2020/08/vacationing-amidst-global-pandemic-with.html" target="_blank">Colorado Vacation</a> - vacationing during the Covid19 pandemic<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2020/05/physical-therapy-after-abdominal-surgery.html" target="_blank">Physical Therapy after Abdominal Surgery</a> - a physical therapist shared her expertise for the necessary exercises we require after abdominal surgery</li></ul><div>2019</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2019/06/cruising-to-hawaii-and-beyond.html" target="_blank">Hawaii Cruise</a> - my parents and I experienced a Hawaiian cruise<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2019/04/exploration-and-rare-disease-awareness.html" target="_blank">FAP Advisory Board Panel</a> - I was part of a FAP Advisory Panel in Philadelphia, PA</li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2019/03/managing-anxiety-and-depression.html" target="_blank">Managing Anxiety and Depression</a> - learning ways to manage mental health</li></ul><div>2018</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/12/what-we-need-from-you.html" target="_blank">What We Need From You</a> - reviewing what we desperately need in support from our loved ones<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/03/life-with-chronic-nausea.html" target="_blank">Life with Chronic Nausea</a> - exploring what life is like with chronic nausea</li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/02/probiotics-and-immune-system.html" target="_blank">Probiotics and the Immune System</a> - reviewing a seminar I attended<br /></li></ul></div><div>2017</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2017/11/fap-and-lynch-conference.html" target="_blank">Hereditary Colon Cancer Conference</a> - my mother and I attended a Hereditary Colon Cancer Conference Michigan</li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2017/06/traveling-abroad-with-short-bowel.html" target="_blank">Traveling Abroad</a> - I traveled to Mexico to attend a friend's wedding<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2017/05/bullying-and-chronic-illness.html" target="_blank">Bullying and Chronic Illness</a> - a look at how bullying and chronic illness are experienced together</li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2017/06/a-caregiving-father.html" target="_blank">Caregiving Father</a> - honoring my father for all his caregiving responsibilities<br /></li></ul><div>2016</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2016/07/dont-shut-me-down.html" target="_blank">Don't Shut Me Down</a> - exploring the need for one to be able to express our feelings to our loved ones<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2016/03/to-broken-hearted.html" target="_blank">To The Broken Hearted</a> - a letter of encouragement to those struggling</li></ul><div>2015</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/12/an-open-letter-to-medical-professionals.html" target="_blank">Open Letter to Medical Professionals</a> - what I want all medical providers to know<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/09/let-fire-burn.html" target="_blank">Let the Fire Burn</a> - surviving self brokenness and defeat to rise above it all<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/06/against-odds.html" target="_blank">Alaska Cruise</a> - my family and I went on an Alaskan cruise following my hospitalization<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/05/health-maturity-reaching-new-milestones.html" target="_blank">Unexpected Hospitalization</a> - my unexpected hospitalization and first one since 2007<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/04/adjusting-to-change.html" target="_blank">Adjusting to Change</a> - learning how to adjust and cope to changes<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/03/the-touch-of-cancer.html" target="_blank">Touch of Cancer</a> - honoring my mother and grandfather with their colon cancer experiences<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/02/bye-bye-baby.html" target="_blank">Bye Bye Baby</a> - saying goodbye to my dream of having a child<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/02/what-fap-means-to-me.html" target="_blank">What FAP Means to Me</a> - exploring what FAP means to me personally<br /></li></ul><div>2014</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2014/10/zebras-and-ducks.html" target="_blank">Zebras and Ducks</a> - understanding the complexity of rare disease<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2014/02/20th-anniversary-with-fap.html" target="_blank">20th Anniversary of FAP</a> - reviewing 20 years with FAP</li></ul><div>2013</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2013/09/ptsd-tailspin.html" target="_blank">PTSD Tailspin</a> - PTSD flare</li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2013/03/a-scarred-life.html" target="_blank">Scarred Life</a> - loving my scars<br /></li></ul><div>2012</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/09/medical-angels-and-demons.html" target="_blank">Medical Angels and Demons</a> - remembering those who have significantly impacted me medically</li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/06/look-back.html" target="_blank">A Look Back</a> - remembering my medical history</li><li><a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/05/fap-beginning.html" target="_blank">FAP Beginning</a> - FAP review and medical experiences</li></ul></div><p></p></div>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-86514513287974366592022-04-25T12:35:00.002-05:002022-04-25T12:35:17.178-05:00My New Diagnosis: Abdominal Migraine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUeQEbaRBTsiAB6CtU50sy5KQhiYrzDmSjXLO0CFL62kbn9c-om2w9WZ3slrIWswqXkaScc1JO_EMcTj1g6D4ncUEXdm81O4knntC6ob882Gayt58NoCykCStOsv9CvIHyNs3ugL0JWolhJcSw5wvPlpMjsKtjBUM0vjMgX05POtjxuI2VJUDOh-pq/s1280/migraine.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="968" data-original-width="1280" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUeQEbaRBTsiAB6CtU50sy5KQhiYrzDmSjXLO0CFL62kbn9c-om2w9WZ3slrIWswqXkaScc1JO_EMcTj1g6D4ncUEXdm81O4knntC6ob882Gayt58NoCykCStOsv9CvIHyNs3ugL0JWolhJcSw5wvPlpMjsKtjBUM0vjMgX05POtjxuI2VJUDOh-pq/s320/migraine.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>After 6.5 months of <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/09/the-unexpected-after-surgery.html" target="_blank">chronic pain</a> that was only improved but not cured by Lyrica, consults with <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2022/01/seeking-consults-to-obtain-diagnosis.html" target="_blank">7 types of doctors</a>, a multitude of tests and an absorbent toll physically, mentally, and financially - I finally have a diagnosis: <a href="https://americanmigrainefoundation.org/resource-library/abdominal-migraine/" target="_blank">Abdominal Migraine</a>. </p><p>All of my tests have come back normal from my various specialists except for my pancreas enzyme and platelets that were elevated. I underwent 2 CT scans, abdominal ultrasound, MRCP, 3 MRIs, EEG, sleep deprived EEG, EMG, nerve condition test, and a neuropsych test with all unremarkable results that provided no explanation for my new symptoms and pain. With these normal results, my neurologist came to the conclusion that I likely have abdominal migraine which is a type of migraine. </p><p>My doctor explained that migraine is a <a href="https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/headache/how-a-migraine-happens#:~:text=Serotonin%20is%20a%20chemical%20necessary,for%20some%20is%20a%20migraine." target="_blank">chemical imbalance</a> in the brain and depending where at in the brain determines what type of migraine and mine happen to be abdominal. He stated this would explain my trunk pain, chronic nausea, dizziness, scalp sensitivity, hearing sensitivity, headaches, lightheadedness, brain fog, appetite loss, and chest pain. Through our discussions and medical history review, we came to the conclusion that my abdominal migraine started in <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/05/health-maturity-reaching-new-milestones.html" target="_blank">2015</a> after I fell and hit my head. A couple days after the fall, I had a sudden, intense headache that pain medication was unable to treat and after that I've had <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/03/life-with-chronic-nausea.html" target="_blank">chronic nausea</a> ever since.</p><p>The only medication that's been able to manage my chronic nausea is Compazine, which is an abortive migraine medication to break through migraine symptoms. And Zofran can actually trigger a migraine and hasn't been effective in managing my nausea. To treat my abdominal migraine, he's started me on Amitriptyline which is a preventative migraine medication. </p><p>My doctor explained that abdominal migraine is typically diagnosed among children and often forgotten about for adults often leading to other diagnoses such as IBS. Through our discussions though, this diagnosis makes sense considering all of my accompanying symptoms and the time frame of events. I'm relieved to finally have a diagnosis and a new treatment to pursue for my symptoms. </p><p>It will take 6 weeks for the Amitriptyline to reach it's fully effective state and I've been taking it for 4 weeks now. During the 3rd week, I started noticing periods of time where I was pain free for the first time since these new pains started. I am still requiring the Lyrica in conjunction with the Amitriptyline presently to treat my pain but this may change over time as the Amitriptyline reaches full efficacy levels in my body and dosage may be adjusted. I haven't been experiencing nausea either. I will see my neurologist in another 4 weeks and any medication changes will then be decided upon as he didn't want to make any changes to my Lyrica or Compazine yet. I haven't had any changes to my appetite, although I'm not bothered by that. </p><p>I look forward to my next neurology appointment to see what medication changes may be decided upon and continuing improvement to my symptoms now that a diagnosis has been reached. </p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-85136864714054967902022-03-30T09:40:00.001-05:002022-03-30T09:40:41.118-05:00Colon Cancer: A Family Tribute and A Reminder<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3HmUu4spLNpglZn48jm5BrhuK23FjCmFboW5JEJCmsKINvaLCXu-pLJ3MJknI3SpS_GP1-9ZZ4WhinM4VwAz4ivlKioxG_tEIXT2aB-H3bVjuGM4rCa1Wi8LX1fradqlYdWjdIGnPj_e0Qsu4hUcesXI9NGXe_Fnwt4fD32wLKUVyBSOme3809dZV/s1280/martha.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3HmUu4spLNpglZn48jm5BrhuK23FjCmFboW5JEJCmsKINvaLCXu-pLJ3MJknI3SpS_GP1-9ZZ4WhinM4VwAz4ivlKioxG_tEIXT2aB-H3bVjuGM4rCa1Wi8LX1fradqlYdWjdIGnPj_e0Qsu4hUcesXI9NGXe_Fnwt4fD32wLKUVyBSOme3809dZV/s320/martha.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>This March, Colon Cancer Awareness Month, hits harder this year than those previous. Colon cancer runs in both sides of my family and as a person with the hereditary colon cancer syndrome, Familial Adenomatous Polyposis (FAP), I particularly know the importance of colon cancer screening firsthand. </p><p>Due to my FAP, I required my colon to be removed at age 9 as my precancerous polyps were starting to turn cancerous. A fact that was difficult to obtain as my primary care doctor had refused me the necessary referral to be evaluated by a GI specialist - a refusal that could have cost me my life. </p><p>Colon cancer goes beyond me though. FAP runs in my mother's family. She was diagnosed with colon cancer just 3 months after I was born. My grandfather had FAP and had colon cancer as well, he later died from stomach and esophageal cancer caused by FAP. Both of their stories can be read in <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/03/the-touch-of-cancer.html" target="_blank">Touch of Cancer</a>.</p><p>Beyond my grandfather, other members in his family likely had FAP including his sister, mother and her two brothers, three cousins, and two nieces. Beyond that, we are unsure who else has since had FAP among their family lines. </p><p>Colon cancer also runs on my father's side of the family. In his family, my grandmother died of colon cancer and two of my aunts have had it - one being my aunt Martha who we recently lost.</p><p>My aunt Martha was extremely healthy her entire life until she developed colon cancer - likely about a year or so ago. Good genes and long life run in my dad's side of the family - several family members living into their 100s. My dad is the youngest of 7 siblings - the oldest one is still in good health at age 89.</p><p>Martha was 83 and could have likely lived a much longer life if she had completed the recommended colonoscopies to prevent colon cancer. She never went to the doctor as far as I'm aware of since becoming an adult.</p><p>She began having symptoms of unexplained weight loss, bloody stools, change in bowel habits, loss of appetite, weakness. We weren't aware of all of these changes - only the weight loss. She wasn't diagnosed with colon cancer until mid-February 2022 when she was basically forced to by my parents after she fainted upon answering her house door. As it was told to me, she figured she had colon cancer just like her mother, but she had been refusing to go to the doctor or hospital out of fear of never returning to her home. Unfortunately, once she finally agreed to be evaluated, she was diagnosed with colon cancer with metastasis to the liver and lungs that was terminal and given 8 weeks to live. </p><p>Sadly, we lost her on March 22, 2022 - 5 weeks after diagnosis. My last visit with her she was barely able to speak and hard to understand, she had difficulty staying awake. We were fortunate to have hospice care available to keep her as comfortable as possible during the last weeks of her life as the pain did become increasingly worse.</p><p>Please take heed from the story of my aunt Martha and complete your recommended colonoscopies for prevent colon cancer in yourself. Please go to the doctor regularly and notify them of any changes in your health, any symptoms you experience. Please do your best to not be another colon cancer statistic.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><u><b>My Tribute to My Aunt Martha</b></u></p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH2tEXjgwTXSUyOaVD6TQBHi9vN_6h7W_pdhwgSAEX6lvtm30MyXljruF207dIx0k3ALNZq7pYj7KzCyMmVBBwmhS2Jvn1fBd8ojLUQcp8EB8JgC2RCMLfsb70kTHZh9Xq1ZDSV0uWgHh6pz_HG0Zkb5fA-WQd2FUpS2EXY3is5pC3Ibwnd9ciK6Ht/s2048/martha%20me.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH2tEXjgwTXSUyOaVD6TQBHi9vN_6h7W_pdhwgSAEX6lvtm30MyXljruF207dIx0k3ALNZq7pYj7KzCyMmVBBwmhS2Jvn1fBd8ojLUQcp8EB8JgC2RCMLfsb70kTHZh9Xq1ZDSV0uWgHh6pz_HG0Zkb5fA-WQd2FUpS2EXY3is5pC3Ibwnd9ciK6Ht/w320-h240/martha%20me.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Martha and Me</td></tr></tbody></table>My aunt Martha was a steadfast, loved, and integral presence in my life. She was one of several family<br /> members who literally helped raise me from the age of 3 months. She spoiled me to no end as a child whether it was ensuring I had plenty of my own clothes to keep at her house, displaying my portrait on her mantle, or unnecessary gifts such as my 3-foot christmas stocking full of items.<p></p><p>She taught me to enjoy a variety of word puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, solitaire, and mahjong.</p><p>She supported everyone in her life, she was always in everyone's corner no matter what. She showed her love through gifts and loans to support others in their life goals and interests. She was ever giving and generous to a fault. She constantly put others ahead of herself even if it caused herself harm. She was ever more concerned about others, their feelings, and not wanting to inconvenience others than she ever was about herself.</p><p>If she discovered something that you liked, she would surprise you with a gift of that item even if that meant trying to give you her own possession. Even when she was in her last weeks of life, she wanted to read my children's book to show her support.</p><p>She was an avid believer in the power of positive thinking. Every time when asked how she was, her favorite response became "I'm phenomenal!" and said with as much enthusiasm as possible.</p><p>She was notorious for bad directions and odd quirks. During one trip to Texas, a route she had driven a multitude of times, she suddenly exited somewhere unfamiliar to me. When I asked her where we were going, she responded "I don't know, I just followed the line". She was able to laugh at herself during such instances.</p><p>She was my aunt, who I have held dear in my heart since infancy and will forevermore continue to do so.</p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-63369361159680614422022-01-27T14:20:00.001-06:002022-01-27T14:20:59.532-06:00Seeking Consults to Obtain a Diagnosis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgpCI9sCeMdM2mr9aoXsgfg29MHuW6I9ShNJXme38dITDVoYWKHLHH9gGY8RD4QMONfAURRSIu7IKhASBSH68E6nk7BgXBv_EIk9ebE5oNcwCyptTnNouxi6BVs3RXE4EK5qEUZLWAVPk_deIOzJvYl4M9NWgh47wXel2JrjKjZnLs9CFZhZEEndn_Z=s1280" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="834" data-original-width="1280" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgpCI9sCeMdM2mr9aoXsgfg29MHuW6I9ShNJXme38dITDVoYWKHLHH9gGY8RD4QMONfAURRSIu7IKhASBSH68E6nk7BgXBv_EIk9ebE5oNcwCyptTnNouxi6BVs3RXE4EK5qEUZLWAVPk_deIOzJvYl4M9NWgh47wXel2JrjKjZnLs9CFZhZEEndn_Z=s320" width="320" /></a></div><p>In the time since my last <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/11/the-continued-mystery-of-my-post.html" target="_blank">update </a>in the beginning of November, I continue to have chronic pain since the 2.5 weeks after my 8th surgery to remove my gall bladder and adhesions for the third time. A lot and yet not enough has occurred during this span.</p><p>Carafate didn't affect my symptoms. My liver and pancreas enzymes were elevated. My GI started me on Lyrica in December and within a week, I started to notice an improvement to my pain. While I continue to have pain, it is far more tolerable now with the Lyrica. Afterwards, my liver enzymes decreased to the normal range however my pancreas enzyme continued to increase. This triggered a MRCP to be completed which didn't reveal any new findings or issues. With the GI system being cleared, it was recommended to see a neurologist.</p><p>This month I saw rheumatology and neurology for consults. Rheumatology completed labs and started me on a trial of Hydrocortisone. While he didn't believe I had any autoimmune diseases, he wanted to try these two things in order to help rule them out as a possibility. He reasoned that while lab work for autoimmune diseases is not as accurate at identifying an autoimmune issue, trying a steroid would further help identify if an issue existed. I agreed to try the Hydrocortisone as I am allergic to Prednisone - experiencing a combination of acidic stool and painful, fragile, rash like skin that creates an awful combination for using the restroom. The Hydrocortisone is more in line with the body's natural cortisol and typically doesn't have side effects. My labs were all normal. I tolerated a low dose of Hydrocortisone without issue although I also didn't notice an improvement to my pain either. Therefore, I was instructed to double my dose. Within a few hours of my first doubled dose, I experienced the same reaction I have to Prednisone and this side effect lasted for over 24 hours before finally resolving for my body to return to its status quo. I didn't try a second dose - doubled or not - after this. With these results, rheumatology released me advising he believes my pain is a nerve and muscle system issue.</p><p>Two days later, I was able to have my consult with neurology. He had me complete different physical tests in the office and poked my pain areas with a safety pin to evaluate how pain feels to me in these areas. I'm uncertain what my reactions and performances meant, although he said there were a lot of inconsistencies in my reaction to the safety pin test as the majority of my pain areas felt dull to the pricks. </p><p>While Fibromyalgia was mentioned, it doesn't fit my pain symptoms. Fibromyalgia is explained as having wide spread dull pain. My pain is sharp, stabbing, crushing, and squeezing with very little dull pain. This is even with the Lyrica helping to reduce the severity and duration of pain episodes. My pain migrates around my torso - from my front, sides, and back and typically is not located within the mid range of my abdomen. At times I do have pain in my hips and sometimes even my knees, particularly if my hips are hurting. Fortunately, the mid range abdominal sensations that my insides were hanging outside of my body have ceased and my incisions are no longer feeling strained. I'm uncertain if these changes are due to the Lyrica or simply time. I have also noticed significant improvement to the balance issues I was experiencing following surgery until the end of December. I was randomly nearly falling over when simply standing or sitting still at least once a week, if not more frequently.</p><p>The neurologist explained that my pain may be caused by Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and ordered MRIs with and without contrast of my brain and spine to check for plaque on my brain and/or spinal cord caused by MS as well as tumors or other growths that may be caused by Central Nervous System Cancers (CNS) due to my higher risk for CNS cancers from the <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/05/fap-beginning.html" target="_blank">FAP</a>. He explained, if my pain isn't caused by either of these two conditions, he doesn't know why I'm having nerve pain. I wasn't surprised by the mention of MS as my pain perfectly describes <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/multiple-sclerosis/ms-hug#what-it-feels-like" target="_blank">MS Hugs</a>. </p><p>I also had a follow up with my nephrologist this month who maintains that my pain is caused by severe dehydration and I that I simply need to increase my fluid and potassium intake. While these are not bad changes for me to make, I don't believe these steps will resolve my pain.</p><p>I'm continuing to await my MRIs and will have my neurology follow up in mid-February.</p><p>I am mentally prepared for the possibility of cancer as I have long anticipated a cancer diagnosis at some point in my life due to the FAP. I am not, however, prepared for a MS diagnosis although I truly anticipate this will be the finding.</p><p>I am also resuming counseling as the last year has taken a toll on my mental health.</p><p><br /></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-8256739185009449122021-11-08T17:04:00.003-06:002021-11-08T17:04:37.232-06:00The Continued Mystery of My Post-Surgical Chronic Pain<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9DzxGXCd5XI/YYa-Yy5ubII/AAAAAAAAEOY/sfrQARJe_rEVye5WzxlJE5IRLj2W2RGAgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/new%2Bpain.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="chronic pain" border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9DzxGXCd5XI/YYa-Yy5ubII/AAAAAAAAEOY/sfrQARJe_rEVye5WzxlJE5IRLj2W2RGAgCLcBGAsYHQ/w320-h213/new%2Bpain.jpg" title="new post surgical pain" width="320" /></a></div><p>I was hoping my health would have improved after experiencing chronic pain complications after returning to work following my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/09/the-unexpected-after-surgery.html" target="_blank">8th surgery</a>; but alas, there has been none. </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uOLpqsspXRg/YYa2sPJoN4I/AAAAAAAAEOQ/9S28hiQNrjoWKZP45h68Lu7NvXNdBHEVACLcBGAsYHQ/s902/pain%2Bareas.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="902" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uOLpqsspXRg/YYa2sPJoN4I/AAAAAAAAEOQ/9S28hiQNrjoWKZP45h68Lu7NvXNdBHEVACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/pain%2Bareas.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Where I've Been Having Chronic Pain since 9/13/21</td></tr></tbody></table>Not only has my pain continued throughout the majority of my torso, since 9/28/21 my incisions have<br /> started feeling as though they are ripping from the inside out whenever my abdominal muscles are strained or stretched in the least bit. <p></p><p>I returned to the surgeon on 10/6/21 and he decided to order another CT scan without contrast as my pain hadn't improved. My latest CT scan on 10/14/21 revealed a small hiatal hernia and everything else remained the same. I was distraught upon reading these results. I fully expected to require additional surgery in my lifetime but I didn't expect the possibility of another surgery so soon. I contacted the surgeon's office asking to speak to him about the CT results as I was very upset. He contacted me via phone that afternoon and the information I was provided was even further upsetting to me. I had been crying nearly non-stop after reading my CT results and was actively crying when he called me. The surgeon told me that he believed:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>My hernia wasn't causing or contributing to my pain even the upper stomach pain</li><li>My pain isn't new</li><li>I've had this hernia all along</li><li>He was releasing me to my GI and PCP as he has nothing to offer me or idea what is causing my pain</li></ul><div>I wasn't fully processing the information he stated and only managed to repeat the exact things he said but in a question form. To this, he simply repeated the same information without any elaboration of his conclusions or advice for going forward. Afterwards, I realized that the information he stated didn't make sense. The more I thought about it, the more I became enraged. The next day, I left a voicemail for his office explaining that I was confused by his statements for the following reasons:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Upper stomach pain can be a pain symptom of hiatal hernia</li><li>The pains I've been reporting since 9/13/21 are new, I didn't have them before surgery and the issues I was having prior to surgery, I'm no longer having</li><li>I have had multiple, repeated testing that includes the ones used to diagnose a hiatal hernia and none of those tests ever showed a hiatal hernia until this one</li></ul><div>His Medical Assistant called me back and stated "He told me that none of this changes anything, he has nothing surgically to offer you but if you want to see him in the office to discuss it, you can". </div></div><div>This further enraged me as I felt my trust in this doctor had been betrayed, my concerns and questions dismissed, and I felt frankly abandoned. I thought he understood my medical complexity and that my body has never followed the medical textbook explanations for anything. I felt he had indicated he would follow through with trying to identify the issues I've been having since surgery and now, he was giving up on me. Furthermore, why should I pay this surgeon a copay to finally get answers to the questions I posed when he should have explained his conclusions when he was on the phone with me the day before especially when I'm going to have to pay a copay to consult with my GI and PCP anyway. I figured, I might as well obtain a second opinion from another surgeon, pay that person my copay, and have all my questions answered in one. And, at this point, with confidence and trust lost in this surgeon, I wouldn't feel able to fully believe anything he says going forward.</div><div><br /></div><div>I immediately followed up with my PCP, GI, and sought a second opinion from another surgeon.</div><div>My PCP advised she didn't believe my hernia was causing my pain due to the large scale of my pain not being consistent with symptoms of hiatal hernias. Instead, she thought my pain may be caused by gassiness from my probiotic or esophageal spasms. She advised to stop my probiotic for 1-2 months to determine if my pain would improve. I had stopped taking my Bentyl after surgery as I no longer have been having the abdominal pain it was controlling but resumed the Bentyl as it may help with esophageal spasms. I have not noticed any improvements to my pain with either of these medication changes thus far.</div><div><br /></div><div>My GI ordered lab and stool tests as the surgeon hadn't checked my blood tests again after my pain started, only before my pain started. Tests showed that my liver and pancreas enzymes are high, white cell blood count low, and there continues to be blood in my stool and the calprotectin levels measuring inflammation in the GI doubled since 8/3/21 - from 58 to 117. Both of these levels remain in the borderline range, however, 120 is the threshold for elevated. He also ordered an abdominal ultrasound, however, no issues were identified by the ultrasound. He suggested the new pain may be due to adhesions. Although, I don't understand why abdominal adhesions would cause pain everywhere other than the abdomen especially considering I just had adhesions removal and the adhesion pain I had prior to this, has stopped. He started me on Carafate for possible Bile Gastritis and I will see him in the office for a follow up on 12/2/21. I remain in regular contact with him and his office though, so he may order additional tests in the meantime.</div><div><br /></div><div>My Nephrologist advised she believes my torso pain is caused by dehydration and my high liver enzymes are likely due to my medications. Neither of these suggestions make sense to me and my GI reviewed my medications following my test results for possible contraindications with the liver and found none. </div><div><br /></div><div>I also scheduled with another surgeon. I obtained the images of my 3 CT scans from this year for him to review and I brought all my paper medical records I have for him as well. The moment I stepped into his office building, I began to cry and continued to do so until he met with me. This was due to my high level of <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/12/an-open-letter-to-medical-professionals.html" target="_blank">fear and mistrust</a> in new medical providers due to my medical trauma. I felt confident in him prior to our meeting as his reputation as a surgeon is well known and a friend is his patient for hernia repair as well. He spent an hour reviewing my records and talking with me. While he agreed that I am a complicated medical case he explained to me that:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>He isn't convinced I even have a hernia. If I do have a hiatal hernia, it is "tiny". </li><li>He doesn't believe my possible hiatal hernia is causing me any issues</li><li>He doesn't recommend surgery at this time as he doesn't believe it would benefit me and would only worsen my health issues</li><li>He believes I have recovered well from the surgery itself and my incision pain is likely due to adhesions. My abdomen is also not likely to ever feel "normal" due to all the surgeries I've required so the abdomen issues I'm having are likely to be my normal. (Honestly, I figured as much so I wasn't surprised)</li><li>He doesn't know what is causing my pain and believes my other doctors are "throwing darts" but recommends scopes if gastritis is suspected and to have a <a href="https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/12042-esophagus-48-hour-bravo-esophageal-ph-test#:~:text=The%20Bravo%20pH%20test%20for,include%20heartburn%20and%20sore%20throat." target="_blank">Bravo pH</a> test done at the same time to measure my stomach acid </li></ul><div>With my 2nd opinion complete, I feel comfortable in trusting that my possible hernia isn't the issue and I can now relax about the hernia. I don't believe my probiotic or dehydration is the culprit. I don't believe I'm having esophageal spasms and perhaps it is bile gastritis but not convinced there either. Honestly, I'm hoping the Carafate isn't effective as I don't want to take this medicine for the remainder of my life. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm required to take the Carafate 1 hour before meals or 2 hours after meals or I will have an intestinal blockage, which I am already prone to due to adhesions. I typically only eat 1 meal a day in the evening and it is usually only when I'm with <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/07/finding-my-person.html" target="_blank">Mike </a>for dinner 4-6 times a week. Without him, it's debatable if I will eat anything for the day. When I do eat outside of my daily meal, it is typically a very small snack and often it is late in the day. Therefore, timing when I can safely take the Carafate has been a nightmare. I also am beginning to think the Carafate may be causing me to feel worse. I've noticed I've started feeling feverish (even though I don't have a fever), nauseated, sick to my stomach, symptoms of low blood sugar, and the like sometimes within 30 minutes of taking it. </div><div><br /></div><div>I continue to have pain from pressure placed on my abdomen including from clothes or bending. A physical abdominal exam causes severe, post surgery like pain for 1.5-2 days after the exam. I haven't noticed any improvements to my torso pain since it began in mid September, but I do believe I am starting to tolerate it better most days. I suppose that's something. Unfortunately, OTC pain medications are no longer dulling the pain and having my muscles massaged causes intolerable pain. I don't want to start taking prescription strength pain medications for multiple reasons either. At this time, I just hope the pain will improve over time or I will continue to at least improve in my toleration.</div><p></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-87919095999746936892021-09-27T17:26:00.000-05:002021-09-27T17:26:08.573-05:00The Unexpected After Surgery<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ahI7Q_CddK0/YTPRmzxtdnI/AAAAAAAAELs/gy58ShtNyH82YBuXpSGZ237wV8J1KI-ewCLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/gall%2Bbladder%2Bsurgery.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="surgery" border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ahI7Q_CddK0/YTPRmzxtdnI/AAAAAAAAELs/gy58ShtNyH82YBuXpSGZ237wV8J1KI-ewCLcBGAsYHQ/w320-h213/gall%2Bbladder%2Bsurgery.jpg" title="gall bladder surgery" width="320" /></a></div><p>When my CT scan showed gall stones in <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2017/11/seeking-answers.html" target="_blank">2017</a>, I expected I would require surgery to remove my gall bladder at some point. I didn't have a time frame in mind for this so I didn't quite expect it to be required by <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/08/when-one-thing-becomes-many.html" target="_blank">2021 </a>but within this time frame my many small gall stones changed into innumerable medium sized gall stones. My GI specialist theorized that my gall bladder was worsening my symptoms of chronic nausea and abdominal pain and it was time for removal. It was after receiving this news that I started to have increased pain, bloating, early fullness, and loss of appetite including difficulty eating solid foods - again contributed to my gall bladder. </p><p>My doctors agreed that it was time to remove my gall bladder and my GI specialist and surgeon urged for sooner rather than later. My main concern was increased diarrhea without a gall bladder as I already have Short Bowel Syndrome and had 20+ stools a day. </p><p>My GI specialist warned me of the risks if I decided to delay removing my gall bladder:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Gall stones dislodging and blocking a duct and gall stone attacks which could require emergency surgery</li><li>Inflammation and infection</li><li>Gall bladder fusing to the liver which would further complicate surgery</li><li>Gall bladder cancer</li></ul><div>I also discussed <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/bile-salts" target="_blank">bile salt supplements</a> with my GI specialist as I had researched them as a possible treatment to improve digestion and reduce diarrhea after gall bladder removal. My GI specialist advised that I would likely not require bile salt supplements and to revisit this as a possible treatment if needed in the future. He stated that bile salt supplements allow the liver to become "lazy" by doing the liver's job for it of releasing bile salts and that the liver will likely function well on its own without assistance. My body was already functioning as though it didn't have a gall bladder so he, and my other doctors, suspected little changes to my bowel habits with the gall bladder being removed. This would also mean that I wouldn't likely start becoming deficient on Vitamins A, E, and K although my GI specialist approved if I chose to start taking these over the counter vitamins. I am already deficient of <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2020/01/vitamin-d-deficiency.html" target="_blank">Vitamin D</a> and presently prescribed Vitamin D3 by my nephrologist. </div><div><br /></div><div>Originally, I thought I would delay this surgery until January 2022 so that I would be able to use my Flexible Spending Account (FSA) for the cost. I had already used all of my FSA funds for the year and would be able to delegate the full amount to be contributed for the 2022 year if I waited. My symptoms continued to become more bothersome though so I thought I would schedule surgery for the end of September. Ultimately, I decided I didn't want to wait if possible and was able to schedule the surgery for two weeks after my surgical consult - August 26. </div><div><br /></div><div>Due to my medical PTSD and mistrust of medical providers, I was extremely nervous about electing a surgeon. My GI specialist provided me a list of possible surgeons to choose from. Between my familiarity with a couple of the surgeons due to working in the medical field and researching the possible surgeons, I made my selection and I feel that I made the correct choice. He has been extremely attentive to my concerns and my PTSD. </div><div><br /></div><div>My surgeon advised that he would attempt laparoscopic surgery to remove my gall bladder but due to the extent of my adhesions from my previous 7 surgeries, I would likely require an open surgery. He stated while gall bladder surgery is typically an outpatient surgery, he wanted to keep me overnight to monitor me even if he was able to complete the surgery laparoscopically - partly due to my medical complexity but also to monitor my pain control as I advised him that morphine is not an effective pain medication for me. In high school, my post surgical pain was controlled by Demerol, however, this is not a standard pain medication preference by doctors and we were uncertain how I would respond to other pain medications. If the surgery would be open, I would require a 3-5 day admission. </div><div><br /></div><div>We planned for an open surgery while hoping for the best outcome of it being laparoscopic. Due to increased Covid19 cases and hospitalizations, I was only allowed one person with me at the hospital so my boyfriend, Mike, went with me.</div><div><br /></div><div>The surgery went better than expected and my surgeon was able to complete the surgery laparoscopically. He created 5 incisions across my abdomen - 2 on each side of my belly and one along my midline. He removed my gall bladder, a small mass on my liver, and another section of my liver for biopsy due to my liver becoming increasingly enlarged - resulting in 3 biopsies. While he provided me the option to stay over night following surgery, we ultimately decided for me to return home that day.</div><div><br /></div><div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2Hc42ont7m8/YTPSTxVTaQI/AAAAAAAAEL0/y_VsW-_an3w8BrkC3SWopn43XhXpkJP3QCLcBGAsYHQ/s960/gall%2Bstones.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="571" data-original-width="960" height="190" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2Hc42ont7m8/YTPSTxVTaQI/AAAAAAAAEL0/y_VsW-_an3w8BrkC3SWopn43XhXpkJP3QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/gall%2Bstones.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A few of my gall stones</td></tr></tbody></table><br />The pathology results showed that my gall bladder had FAP polyps with dysplasia without malignancy - meaning my gall bladder was precancerous. I knew that FAP polyps could develop anywhere in the GI tract resulting in additional GI cancers outside of the colon but I didn't realize that included the gall bladder. The FAP polyps in my gall bladder hadn't been detected prior to removing the gall bladder so I was fortunate it was removed when it was as gall bladder cancer is difficult to treat. </div><div><br /></div><div>The mass on my liver was scarring and my liver biopsies were negative for any other issues. My surgeon recommended yearly imaging to monitor my liver due to the enlargement and scarring - which my GI specialist had already planned for follow up imaging in 6 months.</div><div><br /></div><div>Following surgery, I suffered from lack of appetite and thirst resulting in dehydration. This further decreased my strength and energy levels and also caused my blood pressure to drop risking falls and fainting. I also experienced, numbness in my face, chest and under my ribs - particularly while using this restroom. This was concerning to my surgeon which prompted an office visit within a week of my surgery rather than two weeks afterwards. He ordered blood work that showed elevated liver enzymes and therefore ordered a CT scan. The CT scan results were unremarkable. He stated my elevated liver enzymes could be caused by surgery and ordered repeat blood work for the week after along with my 2 week post op office visit. I was able to discontinue my pain medication within 3 days post surgery and these symptoms have since subsided. However, I also periodically experienced such an intense heart beat that I could physically see and feel my stomach and chest moving with each pulse. It lasted for at least an hour each episode and it caused me to feel fatigued and the constant jarring is upsetting to my stomach. My doctors haven't been concerned about it and if it were an abdominal aorta aneurysm, it should have been detected on the CT scan. This intensely pulsating heart beat in my abdomen finally stopped occurring about 3 weeks after surgery.</div><div><br /></div><div>Another concerning symptom following surgery for me has been a change in bowel habits. Prior to surgery, I had 20+ stools a day and while this number hasn't specifically changed post op - I was unable to feel as though I fully voided my intestine when using the restroom for about 3 weeks after surgery. I have also experienced significantly increased gassiness since surgery even with medication such as Gas-X. About half of my restroom trips are due to the gassiness rather than the actual need to use the restroom. My appetite remains suppressed which has allowed me to lose weight that I've been trying to lose for the past few years. I become full rather quickly and I haven't truly felt hungry since surgery. Rather, I eat something because the taste of a certain food will sound appealing not because I'm actually hungry. I have been eating one meal a day typically and on occasion I will have a snack. Surprisingly, I have been able to tolerate every food I've eaten post surgery including greasy foods. Various foods haven't increased my urgency to use the restroom or my abdominal pain. I am no longer having nausea and have been able to discontinue to medications to reduce chronic nausea and abdominal pain when eating. The chronic nausea and increased abdominal pains that I started having in <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2019/09/no-my-food-choices-arent-problem.html" target="_blank">2015 </a>were thought to be caused by my increased adhesions. However, I am left to wonder if these symptoms were not brought upon by gall stones entirely or at least partially. Additionally, my surgeon was required to remove adhesions in order to remove my gall bladder so the combination of removal of adhesions and gall bladder would have helped to address both of these issues. </div><div><br /></div><div>I returned to work 2.5 weeks after surgery as I felt comfortable enough to do so. However, after returning to work I started having new pains. My incisions hurt periodically and I have near constant pain under my ribs, on the sides of my torso, and up my back. The severity of this pain has varied and I've required resting in bed and Tylenol or Ibuprofen to help manage the pain. I've also required taking time off work each week in order to recover so that I may continue working the rest of the week. My surgeon is concerned by these new pains, especially as they have continued at a month after surgery. He and I both believe the new pains are a result of increased activity since returning to work and these pains were likely unavoidable. Since he ordered a CT scan one week after surgery that was unremarkable, he is waiting to repeat the CT scan or order additional testing. If my pain continues to worsen or doesn't improve by my next follow up appointment, he may decide to order more testing. </div><div><br /></div><div>I also met with my GI doctor for follow up post surgery and he explained that my liver was shown to return to normal size after my surgery. He further explained that my gall bladder was causing chronic inflammation and likely a chronic low grade infection resulting in my liver becoming enlarged. He agreed to complete a liver ultrasound in a year to continue monitoring my liver due to the scarring found on it during surgery. </div><p></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-18108915688743970262021-08-04T16:58:00.004-05:002021-08-04T16:59:29.568-05:00When One Thing Becomes Many<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-L_46bcSKNA8/YQsKGI_-b4I/AAAAAAAAEJo/rH1MtMTA_SAiziOIb8hhDIY22Q_ycMEMQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/questions.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="medical test questions" border="0" data-original-height="704" data-original-width="1280" height="176" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-L_46bcSKNA8/YQsKGI_-b4I/AAAAAAAAEJo/rH1MtMTA_SAiziOIb8hhDIY22Q_ycMEMQCLcBGAsYHQ/w320-h176/questions.jpg" title="questions" width="320" /></a></div><p>I undergo an upper and lower GI scope every two years presently due to my<a href="http://lifesapolyp.blogspot.com/2012/05/fap-beginning.html" target="_blank"> Familial Adenomatous Polyposis</a>. My FAP polyp growth is slow enough at this time to not require more frequent screening. </p><p>I continue to have a carpeted stomach of fundic gland polyps and recurring duodenal FAP polyps - typically just one or two of them. However, this year I asked my GI specialist one medical question in particular for this year's scopes - can he determine what is causing me to have needle like pain in my intestine, near my ostomy reversal connection site. </p><p>My GI specialist was unable to determine any cause for this pain during my lower GI scope and ordered a CT scan for further evaluation. My last CT scan had been in <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2017/11/seeking-answers.html" target="_blank">2017 </a>so he figured another one was due anyway. This CT scan spawned a battery of tests to follow.</p><p>My CT Scan this year discovered:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>My enlarged liver grew another 2 cm</li><li>My enlarged pancreas returned to normal size</li><li>My normal sized right ovary doubled in size and now has multiple cysts including one measuring 6.4 cm cyst </li><li>I continue to have sub centimeter cysts on both kidneys</li><li>I now have innumerable gall stones that have also increased in size</li></ul><div>These results led to:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Surgical consult for removal of gall bladder</li><li>Recommendation for liver biopsy</li><li>Pelvic ultrasounds</li></ul><div>My GI specialist advised my needle like pain may be due to my adhesions. He referred me to a surgeon to discuss gall bladder removal due to my innumerable gall stones and recommended for me to have a liver biopsy during the surgery. He stated my gall stones may be contributing to my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/03/life-with-chronic-nausea.html" target="_blank">chronic nausea</a>.</div><div><br /></div><div>My Nephrologist was pleased that my renal cysts remain less than a centimeter and didn't require my annual kidney/bladder ultrasound this year due to having the CT scan. She also was in agreement with my GI specialist recommending gall bladder removal stating that I am essentially living without a gall bladder presently, it's just still in my body. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>My gynecologist ordered pelvic ultrasounds and determined she wasn't overly concerned about my <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ovarian-cysts/symptoms-causes/syc-20353405" target="_blank">ovarian cysts</a> and recommended pelvic ultrasounds to be performed in another year to monitor the larger cyst. My ovarian cysts were classified as simple cysts which are common for women to develop during the menstrual cycle and are often symptomless. Ovarian cysts often cause the ovary to become enlarged and ovary size also changes throughout the month during the menstrual cycle. It is common for ovarian cysts to develop and go away on their own. She did not think the enlarged ovary was contributing to my GI symptoms.</div><div><br /></div><div>My surgical consult is scheduled for the middle of this month and I have also requested another appointment with my GI specialist to further discuss my concerns and questions about having my gall bladder removed. I have accepted that my gall bladder will require removal at some point, however, I still have questions and concerns I want to discuss. I've also decided that whenever I do decide to have my gall bladder removed, I am going to have at least a week of celebrating greasy foods before the surgery.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><p></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-11698125360539696432021-07-22T17:06:00.006-05:002023-02-13T01:59:40.080-06:00Finding My Person<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cP5NgzGuyBY/YPnr3TBQdEI/AAAAAAAAEI0/QXBf1V4TU2cMa5BBeweOM2ENBxqSyxfnACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/committment.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1367" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cP5NgzGuyBY/YPnr3TBQdEI/AAAAAAAAEI0/QXBf1V4TU2cMa5BBeweOM2ENBxqSyxfnACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/committment.jpg" /></a></div><p>This year I turned 36 and I received an unexpected surprise to celebrate my birthday.</p><p>I previously shared how <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2019/07/birthday-struggles.html" target="_blank">birthdays </a>turned from once an enjoyable experience to one of emotional devastation along with other <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2019/01/milestone-depression.html" target="_blank">milestone </a>holidays. </p><p>When I turned 35 last year, it was my first birthday to celebrate with my boyfriend, Mike. It remained a difficult day for me but Mike and my coworkers did their best to help me celebrate. However, it was the best birthday I had experienced since 2015 when a close friend of mine came to visit from out of state and took me on a full day birthday celebration. I learned that my birthday could be a day to look forward to with Mike. </p><p>This year's birthday was even better. Not only did I not feel alone but I also wasn't consumed by my usual emotional turmoil surrounding milestones. I attribute part of this to the unanticipated healing experience I encountered through a <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/04/how-reiki-affected-my-mental-health.html" target="_blank">Reiki </a>session in April. I've noticed since this Reiki session that I have significantly reduced the frequency of time I fixate on my life expectancy and my fear of losing my parents. This reduction was helpful to allow me to focus on celebrating my birthday rather than focusing on negative and fearful thoughts. </p><p>After my <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2016/01/when-youre-alone.html" target="_blank">divorce</a>, my views on relationships and marriage greatly changed. I never expected to allow myself to feel deeply for another person again after my divorce. I unexpectedly found a great love again after my divorce that would end after a year together. While this <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2019/01/coping-with-life-altering-breakups.html" target="_blank">break up</a> was a painful experience, it taught me that I could indeed love deeply once again. With this knowledge tucked away, I remained open to finding love again in the future although I didn't let relationships overly worry me.</p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vtpF5BiUZuo/YPnD9YK8ICI/AAAAAAAAEIs/Nbe2AeD40vAxsi6b01BYC-BueO899wJigCLcBGAsYHQ/s1618/us.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1618" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vtpF5BiUZuo/YPnD9YK8ICI/AAAAAAAAEIs/Nbe2AeD40vAxsi6b01BYC-BueO899wJigCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/us.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Mike</td></tr></tbody></table><br />I happened across meeting Mike through a dating app and didn't expect much of anything to occur. He seemed nice and a week after our first date, he started asking to see me a couple of times a week. I encountered a few emotionally difficult incidents which were complicated by the sudden departure in my life by a couple individuals who I had thought cared for me. Mike, however, stood by me and was extremely supportive. Within a month, we decided to become exclusive and we found ourselves falling in love with one another. He soon began to collaborate with me on Life's a Polyp by creating designs for <a href="http://www.cafepress.com/lifesapolyp" target="_blank">Life's a Polyp Shop</a> and brainstorming ideas with me. His son even inspired two characters that are featured in my children's book about Familial Adenomatous Polyposis that is being published in 2022: <a href="https://www.shop.imaginewepublishers.com/collections/childrens-books-ages-7-9/products/lifes-a-polyp-with-zeke-and-katie-preorder?variant=41567998247066" target="_blank">Life’s a Polyp with Zeke and Katie</a><p></p><p>Before I knew it, our relationship reached our one year anniversary and we were talking about spending our lives together. I am opposed to marriage and Mike is indifferent to the idea of marriage. We agreed we would some day exchange commitment rings when we were ready to commit our lives to one another but we would not seek legal marriage.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>To celebrate my birthday this year, Mike surprised me with a commitment ring. So, of course, I provided him a ring in return. <p></p><p>I'm thrilled to share that I found my person!</p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KGQ-2Rr3430/YVnlzXtC0AI/AAAAAAAAEMw/y2ibN14S8nUwmRH3WX6sezwKx3kqWDqJACLcBGAsYHQ/s720/3%2Brings%2Bclose.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="3 rings" border="0" data-original-height="469" data-original-width="720" height="208" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KGQ-2Rr3430/YVnlzXtC0AI/AAAAAAAAEMw/y2ibN14S8nUwmRH3WX6sezwKx3kqWDqJACLcBGAsYHQ/w320-h208/3%2Brings%2Bclose.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our 3 Rings Together</td></tr></tbody></table><p></p>When we shared with Mike's son about our commitment rings, he asked for one of his own too!<br /><p><br /></p><br />Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-66494690657415115202021-06-16T11:41:00.008-05:002022-10-20T13:36:56.961-05:00Turning age 95 with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zadTV-kGoeA/YHr1g6mOkfI/AAAAAAAAEC4/TqbrHNjIeVgY6-sbmgWZetAeULExJ49MQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/carlton.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="95th birthday celebration" border="0" data-original-height="801" data-original-width="1280" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zadTV-kGoeA/YHr1g6mOkfI/AAAAAAAAEC4/TqbrHNjIeVgY6-sbmgWZetAeULExJ49MQCLcBGAsYHQ/w320-h200/carlton.jpg" title="fireworks celebration" width="320" /></a></div><p>Carleton Myers turns 95 this June. He has <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/05/fap-beginning.html" target="_blank">Familial Adenomatous Polyposis</a> and has had an ostomy since about 1948. He has seen a lot in his years and a lot of changes in the management of this rare disease and ostomies. </p><p>Carleton's mother likely had FAP as she died from colon cancer in 1928 at the age of 28. She was adopted so there is no further family history of his mother available. His father lived to be nearly 105 with no history of colon cancer or FAP. Carleton's only sibling, Elmer, was first diagnosed with colon cancer and FAP and Elmer's first son also had FAP and died in his mid 30s. Carleton and his wife, Sheila, 91, have 5 sons who have all tested positive for FAP. Two of their grandchildren also tested positive for FAP.</p><p>This is an interview with Carleton conducted by his son, Kevin.</p><p> <b>What were things like when you were growing up with FAP?</b><br /></p><p><span><span> I managed it very well; it was right before I went into the service. I didn't have too much trouble then; it was after that when trouble started. When I learned we could have an operation to take the large intestine out completely, I did that, and it was successful.</span><br /></span></p><p><span><span> <b>When did you first find out that the operation could be done?</b><br /></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span> It would have been probably around 1948. That's when I knew what had to be done because my brother (Elmer) had it done in the early 1940s. He was out in the South Pacific and they sent him back because of it. He had a lot of trouble and hospitals. He managed to survive it. He died when he was 42. Other problems that this brought on, I guess. He had a lot of trouble before it. I didn't, I was fortunate enough to be younger than him and they were learning more and more about it and what they had to do and that saved me.</span><br /></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span> <b>How did you find out about Henry Ford Hospital and Dr. Block?</b><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span> I went there when Elmer found out that he had cancer. In two months, I went in and had the whole rectum system out because that's where it started growing in my brother. Because he had his intestine out before me. I didn't know which way, but I had good doctors. Just as soon as we found out that my brother had cancer, I had everything taken out.</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span> <b> You never expected to live into adulthood when you were a teen, is that right?</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> I was hopeful about getting into my 40s. That's what I was shooting for, that I could get that far. I got that far, and I kept going. What they did to me originally was taking all of the polyps that were left after they took out most of my large intestine, they left about 6 inches and the rectum. I had to go in many times to get polyps removed. Once Elmer found out he had cancer, I went immediately and found a doctor and had the rectum taken out - it was about three months after that. All of you (my children) were look at in your teens.</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span><b>Do you have any recommendations for anyone now that has FAP?</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> I don't know what the doctors are doing now. I was just so glad to be living.</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> <b>What was it like knowing about FAP?</b><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> Sheila - Scary. I knew it was going to be a battle.</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> Carleton - My brother wrote me a letter right away and I immediately got a doctor to do it. My brother raised me because my mother was dead so didn't have much choice. </span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-810hn0QsU7w/X5Gdrc0ZVPI/AAAAAAAAD7A/8Uig2h02zJgwRS95-7bpbhzy0JQBfhG-wCLcBGAsYHQ/s900/family.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="896" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-810hn0QsU7w/X5Gdrc0ZVPI/AAAAAAAAD7A/8Uig2h02zJgwRS95-7bpbhzy0JQBfhG-wCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/family.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Myers Family<br />Carleton and Sheila in the middle<br />Their son, Kent, and his wife at top left<br />Their son, Keith, below Kent on left<br />Their son, Kevin and wife next to Keith<br />Their son Kory on bottom left<br />Their son Kurt on bottom right</td></tr></tbody></table><span><span><span><br /><span><br /></span></span></span></span><p></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vGJaX1F2Xwk/X5GdKwk_yMI/AAAAAAAAD64/Gxo6ZLUhEzAzjEC4LB4TKsuJZPmO0vFrQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1152/75%2Bwedd%2Bann.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Carlton and Sheila at their 75 Wedding Anniversary" border="0" data-original-height="1152" data-original-width="948" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vGJaX1F2Xwk/X5GdKwk_yMI/AAAAAAAAD64/Gxo6ZLUhEzAzjEC4LB4TKsuJZPmO0vFrQCLcBGAsYHQ/w263-h320/75%2Bwedd%2Bann.jpg" title="Carlton and Sheila on their 75 Wedding Anniversary" width="263" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Carleton and Sheila <br />75th Wedding Anniversary</td></tr></tbody></table><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Carleton passed away at age 96 on 10/16/2022 after viewing the Autumn leaves changing with his son, Kevin, and daughter in law. By all accounts, he died peacefully.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><div><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Carleton had an ileostomy and in recent years had surgery for an urostomy as well. He had Diabetes and some difficulty walking without mobility aids but in general was doing well with only rare intestinal blockages and maintained a well intact memory until Sheila's death in June 2022 - afterwards his health began to decline rapidly, per his son, Kevin. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Michigan started a Familial Adenomatous Polyposis Awareness Week each year during the week of June 16 to honor him. Find out how to help further honor Carelton's legacy and FAP/AFAP patients where you live with the <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/p/fap-awareness-week-campaign.html" target="_blank">FAP/AFAP Awareness Week Proclamation</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p></p><div><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><i>Updated 10/20/2022</i></div></div>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-90541247654758204362021-05-31T09:06:00.000-05:002021-05-31T09:06:27.210-05:00Ostomy Reversal Anniversary - 20 Years<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jN15VtZ5SR8/YKwzXpMRDKI/AAAAAAAAEE8/SEm9K-T6H0URSWF5VPvMN18eRoZ1GUO4QCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/20%2Banniversary.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="stomach scars from ostomy reversal" border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jN15VtZ5SR8/YKwzXpMRDKI/AAAAAAAAEE8/SEm9K-T6H0URSWF5VPvMN18eRoZ1GUO4QCLcBGAsYHQ/w320-h240/20%2Banniversary.jpg" title="ostomy reversal scars" width="320" /></a></div>It's hard to believe it, but this is my 20th anniversary of my ostomy reversal!<p></p><p>I had my colon removed at age 9 due to <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/05/fap-beginning.html" target="_blank">Familial Adenomatous Polyposis</a>. I was expected to have my ostomy reversed into a Jpouch a few months later. However, this is far from what would happen.</p><p>I suffered complications from my colon removal resulting in having an ileostomy for 6 years before it would be reversed. My small intestine wrapped around itself and my surrounding organs resulting in my Jpouch dying from lack of blood supply. I required emergency surgery to remove the dead small intestine and move my stoma from my left side to my right side. I would have 5 surgeries that year including one to start a Straight Pull Thru. However, my surgeon refused to complete the Straight Pull Thru reversal. </p><p>I experienced a very difficult time trying to <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2014/01/keeping-hope-and-finding-acceptance.html" target="_blank">adjust </a>to my ostomy. I hated myself, my body, and those around me who I felt I could blame my ostomy on - such as my parents and medical providers. It wasn't until high school when I entered counseling that I was able to start processing the medical trauma I had experienced and learn to cope with my PTSD, depression, and anger. It would still take another decade at least before I felt truly <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2021/05/the-evolution-of-myself-with-chronic.html" target="_blank">comfortable </a>in my own skin and began to appreciate my body.</p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Dnf7Mq2wVbY/YKw0ERxmjsI/AAAAAAAAEFE/zJmmPIw72Pkk0p-L7kNLSL9Uc24_cQ8cQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/v%2Bstomach.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Dnf7Mq2wVbY/YKw0ERxmjsI/AAAAAAAAEFE/zJmmPIw72Pkk0p-L7kNLSL9Uc24_cQ8cQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/v%2Bstomach.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My 2 Stoma Scars and <br />7 vertical Surgery Scars</td></tr></tbody></table>Six years after my first surgery, when I was in high school I found a surgeon willing to attempt<br /> completing the Straight Pull Thru. I had longed for an ostomy reversal every day of those 6 years. It wasn't even considered an option until I told my GI specialist that I had been having the urge to have bowel movements in spite of having an ostomy. She explained that this urge was caused by mucus in my small intestine but because I had the urge to excrete it and was able to do so, perhaps a reversal would be possible after all.<p></p><p>Due to my Jpouch dying requiring part of my small intestine to be removed, I didn't have enough small intestine left to create another Jpouch. I would have to create my own reservoir in my small intestine. This was done over the span of a year of performing Kegel exercises while an inflated Foley catheter was inserted into my anal canal. This exercise would create my own reservoir and strengthen my sphincter muscles that hadn't truly been used since I was age 9. I had my heart set on a reversal so I faithfully completed these daily exercises.</p><p>My GI specialist and surgeon warned me that while the reversal would be attempted, there was no way to know if it would be successful or not. I may go through surgery only to wake up with my ileostomy being permanent. I didn't care though, I had to try for the reversal.</p><p>My parents agreed to give me a thumbs up or down sign as soon as I opened my eyes from the attempted reversal surgery so that I wouldn't have to wait to know how the surgery went. I refuse to talk when I have a NG tube inserted so I wouldn't be able to ask them the outcome. Fortunately, my parents gave me the thumbs up sign and I was able to relax and drift back into my medication induced sleep. </p><p>Due to having 6 surgeries by this point, my adhesions started to create a <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/06/look-back.html" target="_blank">stricture </a>around my small intestine resulting in surgery the following year to remove adhesions. I wasn't sure if this 7th surgery would affect my ability to maintain my reversal or not. I fear of any future surgeries as well due to this risk. </p><p>This was my second surgery to remove adhesions and each new surgery creates more adhesions. I now have chronic <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2019/09/no-my-food-choices-arent-problem.html" target="_blank">pain</a>, <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/03/life-with-chronic-nausea.html" target="_blank">nausea</a>, and increased risk of <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2017/05/intestinal-blockages.html" target="_blank">intestinal blockages</a> due to my adhesions. I fear that I will require another surgery in the future to once again remove adhesions and place my reversal in risk. Fortunately, my symptoms caused by my adhesions are not severe enough to require another surgery at this time. However, I continue to develop polyps in my duodenum that may require the <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2020/03/the-whipple-procedure.html" target="_blank">Whipple </a>procedure at some point.</p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a8YMPVngRZE/YKw1JeHm0_I/AAAAAAAAEFU/NjPiiEI0scY4OOI2Vbc529M7MguCqy-uQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/full%2B1.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a8YMPVngRZE/YKw1JeHm0_I/AAAAAAAAEFU/NjPiiEI0scY4OOI2Vbc529M7MguCqy-uQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/full%2B1.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Scars In All Their Glory</td></tr></tbody></table><br />A Straight Pull Thru and the extended length of time I had an ostomy both have affected my ostomy reversal in general. I have Short Bowel Syndrome resulting in 20+ bowel movements a day. I also often experience urgency with bowel movements that is worsened by not having a rectum and the amount of time my sphincter muscles weren't regularly used while I had an ostomy. In spite of these obstacles, I manage to function well most days and I'm able to participate in the majority of activities of my choice with the aid of anti-diarrhea medications when necessary. Due to my Short Bowel Syndrome, I do have <a href="https://youtu.be/DONm4NCBLrA" target="_blank">flare ups</a> causing me to require the restroom every minute or so and these flares can last for hours at a time even with anti-diarrhea medication. <p></p><p>I try not to dwell on the possibilities of the future that may or may not occur and instead focus on enjoying the present status of my health. I remain amazed that my Straight Pull Thru has managed so well for me to reach 20 years. I hope for many more years with my reversal.</p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-32114422448233690982021-05-19T16:44:00.000-05:002021-05-19T16:44:47.011-05:00The Evolution of Myself with Chronic Illness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m3p6bVtpWjM/YHrz3AgNLKI/AAAAAAAAECw/ifOvVMzAd-sTpyt0s6aeUzyrpB9HWa-VACLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/evolution.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="finding myself" border="0" data-original-height="727" data-original-width="1280" height="182" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m3p6bVtpWjM/YHrz3AgNLKI/AAAAAAAAECw/ifOvVMzAd-sTpyt0s6aeUzyrpB9HWa-VACLcBGAsYHQ/w320-h182/evolution.jpg" title="searching for self" width="320" /></a></div><p>When I look back on my life, I am drastically different now than how I was as a child and even how I was when I started Life's a Polyp in 2012. My views about myself - physical and emotional have greatly evolved over time to culminate in a wonderful sense of self-acceptance. This was not achieved by myself though. It was a painstaking process lasting a couple of decades with immense support of others - including yourself. </p><p>As a child, I was painfully shy. I didn't talk to strangers and barely to those I did know but wasn't particularly close with. I didn't start to become social until I forced myself in 7th grade after experiencing <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2017/05/bullying-and-chronic-illness.html" target="_blank">bullying </a>the year prior. My shyness was exacerbated by the <a href="http://lifesapolyp.blogspot.com/2012/05/fap-beginning.html" target="_blank">surgeries </a>I underwent when I was in 5th grade and by having an ostomy. I had no self-esteem and judged myself harshly for the appearance of my surgery ridden body. Truth be told, I <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2014/01/keeping-hope-and-finding-acceptance.html" target="_blank">hated </a>myself, my body, and those I blamed for my health condition. Changing my social habits wasn't easy but I found it necessary for my emotional survival and so I pushed myself to expand past my comfort zone. </p><p>From 7th grade onward, I acclimated to the new, more social self I created and haven't been without friends since. In high school, I was able to have my ostomy <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/06/look-back.html" target="_blank">reversed</a>. This improved my self-esteem and I was no longer ashamed of the physical appearance of my body. I still wasn't ready to share about my day to day symptoms, particularly my GI issues caused by my rare diseases - <a href="http://lifesapolyp.blogspot.com/2012/05/fap-beginning.html" target="_blank">Familial Adenomatous Polyposis</a> (FAP) and <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/04/short-bowel-and-fap.html" target="_blank">Short Bowel Syndrome</a>. </p><p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-km5mk2PTp5A/YKWGOhISMHI/AAAAAAAAEEc/Nb6iWRR_9285ASnZas7oBOLOO2kUvOwQQCLcBGAsYHQ/s415/tpn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="415" data-original-width="332" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-km5mk2PTp5A/YKWGOhISMHI/AAAAAAAAEEc/Nb6iWRR_9285ASnZas7oBOLOO2kUvOwQQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/tpn.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">High School with My Central Line</td></tr></tbody></table>My health became unstable after my ostomy reversal resulting in frequently missed days from school<br /> due to illness and hospitalization. I became known around my school for being sick. I had a central line for TPN for about 6 months. My central line was prominently visible as my school allowed an altered dress code for me due to regular clothing causing pain and irritation of the skin around my central line. I even unabashedly showed off my scars. However, in spite of my social acceptance, it would still take several more years before I would have the confidence to share my medical story with others.</p><p>In 2012, I found a community page on Facebook for FAP and I interacted with others through this page. The administrator reached out to me and asked me to start a blog about living with FAP. I agreed and Life's a Polyp was born. However, I still was not ready to openly share my medical story so I created Life's a Polyp anonymously. I didn't share my identity at all until a reader from <a href="http://www.michaelsmission.org/" target="_blank">Michael's Mission</a> contacted me about how to grow the impact of Life's a Polyp. With her prompting and encouragement, I finally revealed my identity to the world. She gave me the push I needed to no longer hide in shame of my medical experiences. Over time, I became more and more willing to become an open medical book. I became more open with friends and romantic partners not only regarding my medical past but also my current health issues and symptoms.</p><p>This push is what has helped Life's a Polyp expand from a blog to a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqXW6N2IARpKYgXE-xnWeOg" target="_blank">Youtube </a>channel, a <a href="http://www.cafepress.com/lifesapolyp" target="_blank">Shop</a>, and enter the world of social media. It has allowed me to have my medical story accepted for publishing in a book and the creation of my own children's book about FAP. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wSKb2DPQr6I/YKWGgC-Aa-I/AAAAAAAAEEk/8PUZxCT9_C4JJ5xHWPdqtk1ionfkYCoJQCLcBGAsYHQ/s876/me%2Bscars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="876" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wSKb2DPQr6I/YKWGgC-Aa-I/AAAAAAAAEEk/8PUZxCT9_C4JJ5xHWPdqtk1ionfkYCoJQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/me%2Bscars.jpg" /></a></div><br />I never would have guessed as that excruciatingly shy young girl that my life would become so public medically. That I would willingly tell others the intimate details of life with FAP and Short Bowel Syndrome. I never would have expected others to be interested in what I had to say or what I experience with these diseases. The readers of Life's a Polyp continue to provide me encouragement to continue my advocacy efforts. I'm not sure when I would have found such a deeper level of self-acceptance about my health conditions and my body if it wasn't for readers such as yourself. With the expansion of social media, I have found an online home amongst others with FAP in groups across various platforms. I never dreamt such acceptance by myself nor by others to be such a possibility. <p></p><p>Our words have a profound impact on others and it can mean the difference between suffering alone and enduring together. If you're struggling with self-acceptance, don't give up hope. It doesn't typically occur over night but each day can mean progress. You are worthy of self-acceptance and love. May we all strive to help one another find self-acceptance.</p><p><br /></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-85470647162323869172021-04-09T17:40:00.000-05:002021-04-09T17:40:42.840-05:00How Reiki Affected My Mental Health<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nexIrmCAFG0/YGub3jHvpcI/AAAAAAAAEBk/4_XoRe2SEDoSne7E3jC5fF2KYM7C6_9cQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/reiki.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="reiki meditation and mental health" border="0" data-original-height="882" data-original-width="1280" height="220" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nexIrmCAFG0/YGub3jHvpcI/AAAAAAAAEBk/4_XoRe2SEDoSne7E3jC5fF2KYM7C6_9cQCLcBGAsYHQ/w320-h220/reiki.jpg" title="meditation" width="320" /></a></div><p>My boyfriend, Mike, sent me to his massage therapist for a massage last year due to my stress causing shoulder and back pain. His massage therapist also does energy work, including Reiki. Out of curiosity, Mike also purchased me a Reiki session. I didn't have any knowledge or expectations about Reiki other than it was energy work with Chakras. I don't hold any beliefs toward energy work or Reiki but decided to go to the session with an open mind and figured at the very least, it would be relaxing.</p><p><a href="https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/308772#what-is-reiki" target="_blank">Reiki </a>is often referred to as energy healing, targeting the energy fields around the body. It was started in Japan in the late 1800's. Reiki involves transferring universal energy from the practitioner's hands to the client in order to improve the flow of energy around the body and remove energy blocks thereby allowing relaxation, speed healing, and reducing pain and other illness symptoms. </p><p>I scheduled my Reiki session for Saturday, April 3rd in the mid-morning. Little did I know, this would be the perfect day for a Reiki session. I awoke that day early and started practicing for a speaking engagement I had next the day about my experiences with doctors dismissing my reports of pain as a child. For the last two months, I have also been writing my medical story to be published in a book and writing my own children's book about Familial Adenomatous Polyposis. I have been working on these projects related to my health and Life's a Polyp quite vigorously without allowing myself mental breaks. This particular morning, all of the reliving of my medical trauma became too much for me emotionally. I was crying and distraught this particular morning before my Reiki session. </p><p>When I arrived for my Reiki session, I was instructed to lie on a table face up. The room was dimmed and relaxation music was playing. She wafted some scented oils into the air and over my body. She occasionally laid her hands on me, primarily my feet and shins. Throughout the session, she held her hands hovering over my body and moved them back and forth in various motions. At one time, she was moving her hands lightly over my arm and it felt as though something was being spread over my arm or stretching the skin of my arm. </p><p>She checked the flow of my energy in each of the 7 <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/fitness-exercise/7-chakras#Chakra-101" target="_blank">Chakras </a>with the use of a pendulum. She said my 6th Chakra, the Third Eye, was very strong and indicated that I am very intuitive. I noticed that the pendulum moved over this area more than it did any other area. I was unable to see her hand causing movement in the pendulum. She advised I had a block in my 3rd Chakra, the Solar Plexus. The pendulum did appear to move less over this Chakra than it did over the other six. This Chakra is in the upper abdomen and holds our self esteem and confidence. It is believed that blocks in this Chakra are often experienced through digestive issues, which embodies my diseases of Familial Adenomatous Polyposis and Short Bowel Syndrome. </p><p>She told me that she felt I was hanging on to past regrets and not fully loving myself or allowing myself to fully feel emotions. She told me that I'm a very serious person, a teacher to others, and I don't allow myself to fully feel joy. She explained that my life's purpose is to teach and help others and particularly help others learn compassion and understanding. I agreed with this description of myself she provided.</p><p>She asked me why I limit my experiences of joy and I shared my extreme fears of losing my parents and my desire for them to outlive me. To remove this block, she instructed me to imagine a large sunflower over my abdomen and to push all the built up sludge from this area into her hands that she moved lightly over my abdomen and sides. She did this for a long period of time. I began to physically feel light and when I expressed this, she stopped. Then she told me to imagine my body suctioning a yellow, shimmering light from her hands to fill my body. After awhile, my stomach began to feel full and when I expressed this, she stopped. </p><p>She spoke about the energy field that surrounds the body. She explained that those with amputations having not only physical phantom pain of their missing limbs but may also experience an energy phantom pain. I told her about my phantom sensations of the stoma I had on my right side for 6 years before having my ostomy reversed. She again used the pendulum and began to spin it rapidly above my body. I was instructed to imagine this vortex acting as a suction over my previous stoma site. After she did this for awhile, I noticed that I began to feel extremely relaxed. At this point, she stopped. </p><p>The Reiki session lasted 2 hours and I found it to be extremely emotional. I cried often during the session while she told me what she sensed about me and asked me questions about my fears of outliving my parents. She told me that the work we had done during the session would help with my mental health. She also encouraged me to set aside a specific time frame a day to think about the negative, fearful thoughts I frequently have rather than thinking about them throughout the day. She suggested allowing this set time to be when I'm working on Life's a Polyp projects so that I may channel these thoughts and energy into something productive. I had no idea what to expect from this Reiki session but it was perfect timing to help me cope with my medical PTSD triggers.</p><p>I decided I would set boundaries for my negative and fearful thoughts, as she suggested, and resume daily meditation exercises. The rest of the day I remained melancholy but by the next morning, I awoke refreshed with a much happier disposition. </p><p>Is there something to Reiki and energy work? I don't know, but I do know that I enjoyed my 1st Reiki session and I am in a much better place mentally since experiencing Reiki. Would I do it again? Sure, why not?</p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-39617019172175885032021-03-16T16:58:00.001-05:002021-05-25T09:41:40.005-05:00Vertigo and Physical Therapy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VikalqTPY6E/YFEosCp3kHI/AAAAAAAAEAI/-KHINdQtgeU3jNH5k1KuxYz-dHwHAJYeACLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/vertigo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="850" data-original-width="1280" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VikalqTPY6E/YFEosCp3kHI/AAAAAAAAEAI/-KHINdQtgeU3jNH5k1KuxYz-dHwHAJYeACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/vertigo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>I started having <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/03/life-with-chronic-nausea.html" target="_blank">chronic nausea</a> in 2015 after my first <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/05/health-maturity-reaching-new-milestones.html" target="_blank">hospitalization </a>since 2007. My chronic nausea has persisted in spite of a mix of medications and <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2018/01/reviewing-young-living-essential-oils.html" target="_blank">Peppermint Oil</a>. These treatments are helpful in managing my nausea but they do not cure it. A couple years ago, I started noticing visual triggers to my nausea and over time the number of visual triggers began to expand. Strobe lights and the movements of others or objects easily trigger my nausea. It was then that I was diagnosed with Vertigo that was worsening my nausea. I rarely felt dizzy but at times the room would spin and I felt unsafe to drive until the dizziness dissipated. A friend recommended physical therapy to me in an effort to help reduce the Vertigo and so my GI specialist sent me to a local physical therapy center.</p><p>Although the Vertigo was the primary focus of my physical therapy, my therapist also wanted to include core strength and range of motion for my neck as additional goals. My core remains weak after 7 <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/06/back-me-up.html" target="_blank">abdominal surgeries</a> and I have chronic neck pain with limited range of motion due to degeneration in my neck. My therapist explained that my limited movement had not only contributed to the development of Vertigo but was also worsening my symptoms.</p><p>A common cause of <a href="https://www.webmd.com/brain/vertigo-symptoms-causes-treatment" target="_blank">Vertigo </a>is Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV) that occurs when tiny calcium particles become dislodged and enter the inner ear. My therapist explained that my limited head and neck movements were creating these particles and caused them to wrongfully enter my inner ear resulting in my dizziness and nausea. </p><p>Not only does Vertigo cause dizziness and nausea but other symptoms may include balance issues, abnormal or jerking eye movements, headache, sweating, ringing of the ears or hearing loss.</p><p>The physical therapist completed an evaluation of my Vertigo symptoms and found that I also presented with the abnormal, jerking eye movements. The evaluation included a dizziness questionnaire and movements of my head to try to invoke nausea or dizziness. She would later use the technique to determine the presence of jerky eye movements to help determine the effectiveness of physical therapy on my Vertigo. My physical therapist also performed whole body movements on myself to help move the calcium particles in my inner ear into the correct locations. </p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-RxEkg2uqKrs/YD6UGT9hN_I/AAAAAAAAD_Y/aCUV4Wk-PXUqgtHoiuHrUeXlVx5FZ8pYwCLcBGAsYHQ/image.png" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="340" data-original-width="454" height="240" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-RxEkg2uqKrs/YD6UGT9hN_I/AAAAAAAAD_Y/aCUV4Wk-PXUqgtHoiuHrUeXlVx5FZ8pYwCLcBGAsYHQ/image.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">VOR Exercise</td></tr></tbody></table>I completed 8 sessions of physical therapy before being released. I completed several different exercises to improve my balance which would also help reduce my Vertigo. I started with single leg stances on each leg. First, these were completed with my eyes open and then as I progressed it was changed to eyes open, moving my head in all four directions, and finally using a <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=bosu+ball+&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwi38-_wq5LvAhUMYawKHbYpDi8Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=bosu+ball+&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzIECCMQJzICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIAFDXFljXFmCYGWgAcAB4AIABTYgBTZIBATGYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=7JE-YLfNEozCsQW207j4Ag&bih=937&biw=1920&safe=strict" target="_blank">bosu ball</a>. In addition to completing single leg stances on the bosu ball, I also had to turn the bosu ball upside down and complete squats on it. This was like doing squats on a see-saw. I also did an exercise called <a href="https://earandbalance.co.uk/vor-exercise-gaze-stabilisation-exercises/" target="_blank">Vestibular Ocular Reflex</a> (VOR) that is completed by keeping my eyes on a fixed object in front of my face and moving my head from left to right while maintaining my focus on the object. This exercise helps to recalibrate the eye, inner ear, and brain. The remainder of my exercises focused on core strengthening and on stretching my neck to improve my range of motion thereby reducing the development of these calcium particles and their risk of entering my inner ear.<p></p><p>After a month of physical therapy, my therapist felt as though I had reached the maximum level of benefit physical therapy could provide me and I should continue my exercises on my own at home indefinitely. I'm hesitant to say that my Vertigo is cured. However, I have noticed less use of my Vertigo medication and increased ability to tolerate visual triggers for longer periods after the completion of physical therapy. </p><p>If you suffer from Vertigo, I would highly recommend requesting physical therapy as part of your treatment plan for the Vertigo. </p><p><br /></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2298918764307626057.post-90945905606342261002021-02-17T15:36:00.001-06:002022-04-21T15:16:09.692-05:00Understanding Dehydration<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Nuf6_edPX34/YC2L4v1ZtnI/AAAAAAAAD-s/Z6MsFTaxOjwpQiHpJJ9NhbllmnLYfEu6gCLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/dehydration.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="848" data-original-width="1280" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Nuf6_edPX34/YC2L4v1ZtnI/AAAAAAAAD-s/Z6MsFTaxOjwpQiHpJJ9NhbllmnLYfEu6gCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/dehydration.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>Dehydration occurs when more water is lost from the body than the amount of water that is taken in.</p><p>Dehydration is a common struggle for those of us who have required colon removal. Without the colon, water is not absorbed properly and typically results in liquid stools. Many of us without a colon are also diagnosed with <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2015/04/short-bowel-and-fap.html" target="_blank">Short Bowel Syndrome</a>. SBS further worsens the absorption of nutrition and water due to damage to or significant removal of the small intestine resulting in frequent diarrhea. Some individuals with SBS require lifelong TPN in order to meet their nutrition needs.</p><p>I was diagnosed with Short Bowel Syndrome as a child after part of my small intestine died from surgical complications of my colon removal. My SBS causes me to have a minimum of 20 stools in a 24 hour period - more if I am having a flare up. During a SBS flare, it is common for me to use the restroom as frequently as every 2-5 minutes for several hours at a time.</p><p>It is common for those with an ileostomy or Short Bowel Syndrome to experience stools soon after ingesting liquid further complicating our ability to take in adequate amounts of water.</p><p>Later, when I was in <a href="https://www.lifesapolyp.com/2012/06/look-back.html" target="_blank">high school</a>, it was discovered that I had a hole in my small intestine. As a result, I was placed on an NPO diet and started on TPN for my nutritional/hydration needs. I became accustomed to not drinking fluids due to the NPO diet while my intestine's hole was healing. I began to only drink fluid when I felt thirsty, which wasn't often. As an adult, I started being followed by a nephrologist a few years ago due to the discovery of cysts on my kidneys. While this could mean that I have Polycystic Kidney Disease, my nephrologist thinks it may just be due to years of dehydration. This has prompted me to truly make an effort at achieving and maintaining a state of hydration. In spite of my efforts of at times drinking 100+ ounces of water a day, my nephrologist states I remain in a dehydrated state.</p><p>For those with colon cancer causing conditions such as Familial Adenomatous Polyposis or Lynch Syndrome may also experience dehydration worsened by <a href="https://www.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/cancer-treatment-side-effect--dehydration.h00-159305412.html" target="_blank">cancer treatments</a>. Chemotherapy and radiation treatments may cause side effects including diarrhea, vomiting, and excessive urination that may result in dehydration. </p><p>My Nephrologist advised me that becoming hydrated requires several days - nearly a week - of continuous increased fluid intake for the body to fully become hydrated. One or two days of drinking well isn't going to be enough.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;">What are the <a href="https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/153363" target="_blank">signs </a>of dehydration?</p><p style="text-align: left;">Common signs of dehydration include:</p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Headache</li><li>Dizziness or lightheadedness</li><li>Fatigue</li><li>Decreased urination</li><li>Dark yellow/amber colored urine</li><li>Decreased skin elasticity </li><li>Dry mouth and mucous membranes (such as lips, gums, nostrils)</li><li>Muscle weakness</li></ul><div>Severe signs of dehydration include:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Low blood pressure</li><li>Lack of perspiration</li><li>Sunken eyes</li><li>Increased heart rate</li><li>Fever</li><li>Delirium</li><li>Unconsciousness</li></ul></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/153363#complications" target="_blank">Risks </a>of Dehydration</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">If dehydration is severe and not rectified, an individual may experience:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Hypovolemic Shock - a reduction in blood volume that drops the blood pressure and amount of oxygen in the body. </li><li>Increased risk to <a href="https://theheartfoundation.org/2019/03/08/the-importance-of-water/" target="_blank">heart </a>and cardiovascular system - blood volume decreases cause the heart to work harder and faster which increases blood pressure and heart rate. Sodium is also increased in the blood from dehydration resulting in blood thickening that over works the heart. </li><li>Seizures due to electrolyte imbalance</li><li><a href="https://www.kidney.org/newsletter/can-dehydration-affect-your-kidneys" target="_blank">Kidney </a>issues such as kidney stones, UTIs, or even kidney failure. Water helps to remove toxins in the blood via urination. Dehydration can result in the build up of toxins and acids in the body.</li><li>Heat injury - ranging from mild cramps, heat exhaustion, heat stroke</li><li>Coma, Organ failure, and death may result from untreated dehydration</li></ul><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.medicinenet.com/dehydration/article.htm" target="_blank">Diagnosing </a>Dehydration</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Several physical factors may be examined in addition to laboratory tests to identify common electrolyte changes associated with dehydration may be utilized for diagnosis. This may include:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Mental status exam</li><li>Vital signs</li><li>Temperature</li><li>Skin and mouth examination</li><li>Blood tests and urinalysis</li><li>Infants may also be examined for a sunken, soft spot on the skull, sucking mechanism, and loss of sweat and muscle tone</li></ul><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Treating and Preventing Dehydration</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The U.S. National Academies of Science, Engineering and Medicine <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/water/art-20044256#:~:text=The%20U.S.%20National%20Academies%20of,fluids%20a%20day%20for%20women" target="_blank">recommend </a>men to drink 15.5 cups and women to drink 11.5 cups of water a day. It's recommended to limit or avoid caffeinated drinks.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">An individual may need to adjust their daily water intake due to exercising, environment, overall health, and if they are pregnant or breastfeeding. </div><div><br /></div><div>IV fluids may be required for severe or recurring dehydration. This is common for those with malabsorption issues. </div><div><br /></div><div>There are several hydration products available to help prevent dehydration. Simply search for hydration drinks. Compare the amount of electrolytes and sugar in a drink when shopping. Some hydration products include:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.drinkbodyarmor.com/" target="_blank">Body Armor</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://dripdrop.com/" target="_blank">DripDrop</a><br /></li><li><a href="http://www.h2ors.com/" target="_blank">H2ORS</a><br /></li><li><a href="https://www.liquid-iv.com/" target="_blank">Liquid I.V.</a><br /></li></ul></div></div></div><p></p><p><br /></p>Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16198921480286128160noreply@blogger.com3